Kids in Weddings: A Mom’s Guide for Brides

kids in weddings

So you’re getting married?  Congratulations!  Now that you’ve gathered your best lady friends and your soon-to-be hubby’s best guy friends to stand up with you on your wedded day of bliss, you need to find some super cute little people to lead the way down the aisle. Can it be challenging to keep them interested and meltdown-free? Absolutely. That’s why we polled moms of veteran flower girls and ring bearers for their best tips!

Give a detailed guide or outline of exactly what the expectation is of my little guy/gal. Please don’t wait till the last minute! The more I can plan for, the less likely I will be to have a heart attack or witness my kid crumble in an unrecoverable meltdown. Give me all the who/what/when/where/why you can in advance – help me help you.

Be clear on what you want them to wear (hair and accessories too).  Please be specific and up front on what you want. If you’re not paying for the attire (which is completely acceptable, by the way), at least give some guidelines on color or style – maybe send me a photo of the wedding party attire so I can do my best to coordinate.

Plan for success to get them down the aisle.  Have the groomsman hold on to a sucker, and let the littles know that if they make it to the end of the aisle, they get a treat! Be sure they get to practice a time or two, so they know where they are going. That aisle seems awfully long when 200 hundred faces are watching you strut your stuff!

kids in weddings
Photo Credit: Audrey Lee Life Portraits

Have a Plan B for the ceremony standing chart.  If you want them to stand up at the ceremony, understand that they are going to get fidgety and may not last till “I do”.  Have a back up plan – make sure they know where mom and dad are sitting so they can find them, or simply have them walk down the aisle and then take a seat next to us when their job is finished.

Be considerate of little attention spans.  Kids will get cranky if you have them attend all-day preparations+pictures+ceremony+reception. If you really only need them for the ceremony and pictures, let me know! Of course, it is considerate to invite them to all the festivities – but give parents an easy out. Tell us what your priorities are and let us work out the rest.

Have kid-friendly actives at the reception.  We all love dancing, but once their feet get tired (especially after a long day!), they’re going to need something else to do.  Why not have a wedding coloring and activity book like this one ready to go for them!? A Kids’ Station in the corner  will help keep them all contained and entertained.

Provide food.  Yes, mommy will probably have snacks, but if your dinner starts at 8 (our usual bedtime), please give me a heads up so I can plan accordingly! If you have snacks and drinks available for your wedding party, consider adding a few bags of goldfish crackers and some juice boxes, too.

Go with the flow and understand that you might have to be flexible because kids are unpredictable! Unless you work with kids on a regular basis, you probably won’t understand this part until you are the mom of a kid who has been asked to participate in a wedding. I know I didn’t! We are honored you asked us to take part in your special day and we will do our best to keep it awesome…but a little flexibility goes a long way!

Lacey Mills
Lacey is mom to her one and only kiddo, an ornery, adorable 5 year old named Easton and has been married for 10 years to her husband, Justin. Originally from Hutchinson, she moved to Wichita to finish her bachelor's degree in marketing from Wichita State University. Her husband's job took them to Maine for a few years until they settled down just north of Wichita for a quiet, small town life. Lacey works full-time as the Director for a non-profit foundation and balances career with family, friends and all things craft-related. She loves to scrapbook, quilt (yes, she said quilt), craft, throw parties, drink wine and spend a conceivably, unhealthy amount of time on Pinterest.