The Secret Marriage Lesson I Learned In The Grocery Store Aisle

There it was again, another missed opportunity. Another chance he had to remember the little something special I had told him hundreds of times. Yet he forgot….again. It seemed to be a common occurrence and one I was getting very weary of. Why couldn’t he just remember? Why didn’t he pay attention to the little signals I was giving him? Didn’t he know me at all? I was frustrated, I was tired, and I was sad. I felt like 7 years of marriage was plenty of time to know me, his wife! I knew all about him. I knew what he liked, what he didn’t. What his favorite food was and what is wasn’t. I just didn’t understand why he didn’t know mine. My conclusion was he must not care as much as I did. He couldn’t. If he did, he would know my favorite things! He would do those special things for me.

Later that day as I made my way to the grocery store, my frustration continued to fester in my mind. I was getting angrier by the minute, contemplating all my husband didn’t do for me, when I noticed them. They were not your typical couple. There was something different, something special and I could see it the moment I first caught sight of them. Their fingers were intertwined as they quietly walked around the store selecting their needed items. She would look at him with adoring eyes and he would return her smile with a quick peck or a squeeze of her hand and on they would continue, adding items to their cart, stopping to discuss what to buy.

They weren’t in a rush, they were just there together. They were easily in their 80’s and I couldn’t help but watch as they navigated the dairy aisle, stopping by the milk the husband asked, “Margaret. Do we like 2% or whole milk?” To which she smiled and replayed “whole milk dear”. Strolling down a little farther, he asked again “Margaret. Do we like brown eggs or white?” “Brown dear” she kindly replied.

Watching their easy interaction brought a smile to my face but also perplexed me. Why didn’t he know the answers to these questions? Surely they had been buying the same whole milk and brown eggs for years. Didn’t she get even a tiny bit annoyed by all the questions? I noticed the softness in her response to him. She wasn’t irritated. She was kind and gentle.

As I continued shopping, I lost sight of the sweet couple but couldn’t get their interaction out of my mind. The man didn’t ask “do you like…..” but instead he said “do we like…”

I decided I needed to find them. I wanted to ask the sweet couple a question. I spotted them quietly having a discussion in the only aisle most men enjoy. You know then one filled with light bulbs, power cords and charcoal.

I began to approach them when I overheard the woman ask, “Merle, do we like a 40 watt or 60 watt light bulbs?” I watched as he smiled and answered her so lovingly, “40 watt works best”. Then Margaret asked, “Merle, do we need AA or AAA batteries for the remote?” “Hum…” he was deep in thought. “Why don’t we grab both?”

I sat silently just out of view and watched as these two beautiful humans intertwined their fingers once again, never noticing me as they made their way to the checkout counter. I never did interrupt them to ask my question. Because my question was already answered.

I finished my shopping, went home and made my husband his favorite dinner. I never did tell him about the sweet couple I saw, but I made a choice to always remember the lesson I had learned in grocery store aisle that day.

It could have been so easy for me to miss or simply ignore and maybe I would have if the events of the morning hadn’t taken place, but I was so thankful they did. Simply watching this couple showed me how loving another person isn’t about I or me..it is about we. It isn’t about what can my husband can do for me, it is what can I do for we? What can he do for we.

Both Margaret and Merle knew the answers to the questions they asked each other in the grocery store aisle that day. Margaret knew they used both AA & AAA batteries, she knew what watt of light bulb to buy, but she also knew it made Merle feel needed when she asked him for help. Just like Margaret, Merle more than likely knew what eggs to buy & what milk they drank. But he also knew it made Margaret feel loved when Merle participated in the shopping, asking questions and loving her along the way.

This couple wasn’t worried about I or me, they were concerned with we.

We connects two souls.

We is unselfish.

We is love.

And most importantly….

We connects the you & me in any relationship.

Thank you Merle & Margaret for letting me peek into your life and learn your little secret. Thank you for teaching us how important it is to stop the me in any relationship and to start focusing on the we!