This is Just the Friend I Am Now

Many years ago, I thought it was important to have many friends. I’m slightly awkward so it gave me the opportunity to have different friends with my different personalities and likes. As I’ve gotten older I have realized that my friends should suit all my personalities and if they’re a good friend they will like me as I am, not how I pretend to be.

I do still see friends (acquaintances?) that have so many different friends and friend groups. How does one keep up with that? How do they have enough energy and give a darn to make plans and actually follow through for them? I just…don’t.

So, to my friends from days past, this is the friend I am now. Know that I still care about you deeply. Have you recently started a new relationship? I would love to visit about it. Probably by text. New engagement and/or baby announcement? I will give you a heart reaction or reach out with an Instagram message. If our kids are in activities together, I will give you more of my attention because I am already in that setting and I enjoy the company. I will sit and gab probably more than I watch the game.

I used to think this was a flaw in my personality. My mom told me in high school that if I wasn’t nicer to people, I wouldn’t have any friends (very lovingly I may add…or at least I see it that way now LOL). Apparently this has been the way I handle stress since I was younger. When I get tired and stressed, I retreat within or get cranky. My favorite things to do lately is read and sleep. You may see depressed, but I see a person who knows their limits and chooses to recharge instead of letting my battery die.

So, friends, please bear with me. If you get a handwritten note, know that you are on my mind. If I know someone has been struggling, I will try to send a little care package. I text when I think about it. Know that even if I’m not doing any of these things, I am still thinking of you. Cheering you on when I see goals met and accomplishments made. Praying for you when I think you may need extra love. This is just the friend I am now.

Kendra Fernandez
Kendra lives in Derby with her husband Leonard and her two boys- Leo and Jacoby. She works in downtown Wichita but spends most of the rest of her waking hours wrangling two crazy boys. You will more than likely find them at a game or practice. Besides spending time with her family Kendra loves to read and watch Game of Thrones, HGTV marathons and the Royals! She is also very active in PTO at her sons' school and is always trying to find ways to interact with other parents.