The time is coming. I am about three weeks away from being a mother of two. In the last week, my hubs has been gone, and all the sudden it feels like being a mom of one is more than I can handle. The thought of being a mom of two has brought out more anxiety and stress than I ever thought it would, never mind the craziness of a husband traveling out of state three weeks before your due date.
Those of you veterans who have multiple children can just sit back and laugh at my panic attacks, but try to remember in your hearts what it was like for you way back when.
Real Fear #1: How will I possibly love this child as much as I love my daughter?
My two year old is amazing, and we love her more than we ever thought possible. I have heard a million times that the love truly multiplies, and I know in my heart that it does. However, it just doesn’t seem possible. It hurts my heart to think that this child won’t be loved the same as our first.
Real Fear #2: What do I do when my very helpful 2 year old lifts the baby out of the crib and walks into the next room without anyone knowing?
Seriously. What do you do? Try not to freak and calmly take said baby from the 2 year old…easier said than done, I’m assuming.
Real Fear #3: How will we ever be on time again – to anything?
We seem to just barely make it out the door now. We only have one, and we often are walking into things just as they start. This could be because the two year old insists on dressing herself and must always wear a dress with “matching” underwear – I can’t even begin to understand this girl. But in all seriousness, somehow we will have to massively adjust our routine to make this happen. Again, people, just tell me it works out…but I will believe it when I see it…
Real Fear #4: Can we truly afford this?
I know that we can and we have talked about it (don’t worry). But still we figure out the cost of day care, diapers, baby this and baby that, and it all just seems overwhelming. Again, I know I am choosing to go back to work, so the day care business is a choice, but I like my job and want to keep doing it.
But dang…the money involved in just birthing this child will be intense. Not to mention someday they will want to get married and go to college and drive and everything else. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. This baby is still inside jabbing and stretching, so maybe worrying about her/his first car may be a bit more than I need to worry about right now.
Real Fear #5: Time. How will there ever be enough time?
I always feel like I am maxed out. I want to spend all the time I have between pick-up and bedtime with my girl. But now there will be two who have to share the time. The little one will be demanding my attention every few hours for a long time while the big one very verbally demands attention on a regular basis. Just today she put her little hands on my face and said, “Momma, listen to me!” How will we ever handle the demands of both and still get dinner made and the yard mowed?
Real Fear #6: What if my kids don’t like each other?
Like for real don’t like each other. My brother and I fought as kids, but I would say we still liked each other. But it could happen right? How do you deal with that?
Real Fear #7: We are still trying to figure out our 2 year old, how will we ever be able to understand a second child?
I know this one sounds ridiculous. But for some reason, I am imagining that this child inside of me will be the complete opposite of big sister. She is loud, crazy, brave, smart, witty, hilarious and in general a exact replica of her daddy and me rolled in to one. We very frequently have NO idea what we are doing in parenting this child, and she IS us. It just feels like we are going to spend the rest of our lives having no idea what we are doing – scary right?
Real Fear #8: Will this kiddo think that he or she is 2nd fiddle to our big girl?
Particularly if this kiddo, who, as I am typing this, is stretching its horizontal self out as far as my rib cage will allow, is a girl. How do we use what we have as hand-me-downs (for the rest of her life) without her feeling like her big sister gets to use everything first? If it is a boy down there, the same question is still there. How can we possibly make him feel as special as his big sister?
How did you successfully make the adjustment from one baby to two?
your fears are normal. I had them all. In fact each time labor started for me I would have such intense panic and crying and general hysteri, because of these fears, labor would stop. At 41 weeks I finally saw a homeopath and got a remedy to ease the fears and she was born within 6 hours!
I can tell you, that even though they are normal, none of them are true. Your kids will be mortal enemies, and also the very best of friends. You will love the second child so much you won’t understand how you ever lived life those two years without him/her. Life does change from what you’re used to, but doesn’t have to be bad. Instead of quiet one on one time, you now have loud, chaotic, group time. But also many more hugs and kisses and smiles and laughter. You probably wont ever be on time to anything again, and you may have to let some things go, and that’s ok. Just enjoy having fun with your babies because they’ll only be babies for a short time and then they’ll be gone as fast as they came.