Have you ever turned on the radio only to hear a song blasting that contains lyrics that you don’t really want your kid to hear then frantically try to shut it off, thus leaving your kids wondering what was happening? I have, and it always leads to questions about why they can’t listen or watch it. We’re a pretty open family and have discussions about a lot of different things so it’s made me think about censorship, what my kids can and can’t watch, and how far we want to go to protect them from everything outside our control.
Now before you grab your torch and pitchforks, hear me out. I grew up in a house where we listened to “Fat Bottom Girls” and “Like a Virgin”, read {some} Stephen King books before I was a teenager and watched X-Files with my mom. I went on to work in a music store and was introduced to all sorts of different music and film genres that I never had even really thought about. It also introduced me to a wide variety of people who enjoyed all those things. And I turned out OK, I promise!
Since becoming a parent, I have tried to raise my boys with an appreciation for art. Yes, I consider all forms of entertainment art. Because of that they have heard and seen quite a bit. We listen to rap, r&b, country and “oldies”. We watch cartoons, ghost shows, sci-fi and super hero movies. We read books about spiders and “worker trucks”, non-fiction historical books and Harry Potter. Video games are a staple in our house, and we’ve been to several live shows from Marvel to Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Each of these things have opened their eyes to things they could only have imagined.
Do we talk about them? Of course we do. We talk about the things they know they shouldn’t repeat and that most of the things in movies aren’t real. A man who can turn himself into the Hulk and then smash everything? Yeah, probably not going to see that on the street tomorrow. Can a hurricane turn into a tornado and rain down sharks? Not quite how it works. Are guns real and can they hurt people? Yes and yes. And we fully discuss the repercussions that go along with all of that.
I’m not saying this is a perfect situation. I had a conversation about words that were on the Hamilton soundtrack that hadn’t been heard {shockingly since I swear like a sailor but that’s a story for a different day…} and didn’t realize they were not words a 10-year-old should be saying. I have been smacked square in the face when I’ve seen a YouTube search history. When those things happen, conversations are had and privileges are taken away if necessary.
We give the boys the freedom to make their own choices, but as parents we step in to make the final decision with what is and isn’t appropriate. I can tell you that my kids have not seen Game of Thrones; and Deadpool was a no-go because the F-bomb was thrown around like candy when a piñata’s been busted. The violence doesn’t bother me. They know what’s real and what isn’t. However, I know that at their age, nudity, sex and language are the things that are going to stick with them. So for us, that is a hard pass.
Kids will be kids and they will eventually watch, read, listen and play all things that we think are terrible. If I can introduce them to things in an environment where they can ask questions, as opposed to in the wild with their friends it (hopefully) equips them with the ability to make better choices.
And just for the record…if a friend comes over to our house, parental controls are in full force.
