Are you lucky enough to live close to most of your family? We are beyond grateful to have almost our entire village here in Wichita. All three sets of our parents. All of our son’s great grandparents. Most of our siblings. Extended family on both sides. Sitters abound who get paid in kisses and cuddles. Birthdays and special occasions are filled with family. We know how fortunate we are.It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Chaos
However, when the holidays roll around it gets a little more complicated. We want to spend time with everyone, but it’s also in a more condensed timeframe than usual. Getting schedules to mesh can be a real challenge. You don’t want to leave anyone out. You don’t want to be left out. You want your child to have all the same experiences you did and more.
It has taken time and compromise, but here are some tips on how our family makes it work:
Plan ahead
Start asking everyone now what their plans are for the holidays. Both my sisters-in-law have family out of town. We find out what their obligations are and work around their schedules.
Use Scheduling Tools.
Once you’ve determined conflicts, use email, group text or Doodle to see what works for the majority. I’m a huge fan of Doodle as it cuts down on all the back and forth.
Draw names and set budgets.
When your list of gifts rivals that of Santa’s, blowing the budget can happen so easily. It’s a true joy watching children tear open the packages under the tree, but adults still like to be included. Years ago we moved to drawing names for the adults in our family, so each person is only buying for one other adult at that gathering. We set a dollar limit. Now instead of buying lower budget items for everyone in the family, each person gets one nicer gift. It takes a huge amount of pressure off shopping and your wallet.
Try an experience
It’s hard to fit all the activities in the week of Christmas, so use the whole month. See Christmas lights. Take a carriage ride. Bake cookies. A couple days after Christmas, my mom takes all of the us adult girls to lunch and shopping with a gift certificate that was our present.
Be inclusive.
The holidays are a perfect time to let bygones be bygones. While my parents are divorced, they are willing to come together at the holidays so no one is left alone. In addition, my in-laws always include my mom who’s a widow. I realize not every family is as fortunate as ours. Maybe this holiday season is the time for your family to come together.
Be flexible.
Embracing the spirit of the season, sometimes you need to set your priorities aside and put others first. Remember, traditions are passed from generation to generation. While you may not feel up to attending one more family function, it’s important to pass those experiences on to your child.
Start new traditions.
Before we ever had our son, we agreed that we wanted to start some holiday traditions of our own once we became parents. My favorite Christmas tradition is going to Christmas Eve church. I used to be adamant about going on Christmas Eve night, but over the years, I’ve had to become flexible on when we attend church service. I remind myself that the point is we are there as a family.
Put the littles first.
It’s all about seeing the holiday through their eyes. Focus on what’s important. Being around those you love, whether family or friends who’ve become family, and creating memories for your children is what it’s all about.
How do you juggle all of the holiday commitments with family?
Make sure you never miss out on things to do in Wichita: subscribe to our weekly Wichita Moms Blog newsletter! Be the first to know about our exclusive events, special offers and discounts, neighborhood group activities and, of course, local resources and parenting voices powered by local Wichita moms!
