Relocating can be a tough feat for everyone in a family, but for my family it seemed like I was the only one having a hard time adjusting. I am a young, single mama of a nine-year-old socialite, so I knew she wouldn’t have a hard time. I honestly didn’t think about my own social life because I was so focused on the amazing things this move would do for my career. The reality of it all, moving as an adult is tough; especially for a single parent in her mid-twenties who is used to having family/friends available to help when needed. After weeks of sitting in the house, attending the social events in my community with hopes of finding a friend, and even browsing social media #Hashtags for millennial meet ups I began feeling isolated and lonely…not fun! As an ICT transplant here are my best pieces of advice to the mom who may be having a hard time adjusting, hasn’t met any friends, and may be feeling a little homesick.
- Be open to new people, new experiences, and say YES to every invitation out. I’m an introvert, so this was hard for me. In order to meet people/make friends I realized that I had to be available and willing to maneuver outside of my comfort zone. I met my very first friend in my new city by responding to a Facebook post asking if anyone wanted to join her for brunch! Obviously, you will have to research who you are going to brunch with.
- Meet your neighbors. This may sound like an easy one, but if you are anything like me then you might be a little too reserved to knock on a stranger’s door and introduce yourself. I can tell you that this is one of the best things I could have done. I have an amazing neighbor who has shown me several places in the city and makes me feel included with their friends.
- Get out in the community and volunteer. There are so many volunteer organizations, and this is a great way to connect with new people. You can choose whichever organization you’d like, and you can even make volunteering a family affair.
- Leverage your network. Think about any organizations you are involved in and do a little research to see if they have a local chapter you can join. This gives you a massive head start, because you are emerged with people who likely already have similar interests as you.
- Take your kid to the birthday party they were invited to—even if they barely know the other kid. This is a benefit to you and your child.
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- Your kid gets to satisfy their social itch and make a new friend.
- You get to meet a new mom—and maybe, just maybe, you will connect as friends and you’ll start to get a few insider tips and meet the rest of the gang.
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- Take advantage of the “Moms Night Out” events. This is great for single moms, married moms, all moms to get a few hours of “Me Time,” go on a date, or explore your new city!
These 6 things have certainly enhanced my experience in my new city, Wichita. I’m not quite to the point of having wine nights with close girlfriends or alternating weekends with friends so we can each have a date night, but I am well on my way. In six short months I have fallen in love with the culture here where family is the cornerstone of the community, people are nice, and there is no traffic. I’ll be silently cheering you on as you acclimate to your new city!
