You tried to hide it, but you were crushed when your friend said she was moving away. You’re excited for her to follow her heart and start a new adventure…but you’re worried this might be the end. That you’ll lose track of each other or it just won’t be the same.
Ugggggh. I feel you.
Megan and I became friends when we were preschoolers: my childhood bestie! As teenagers, we weren’t as close, but then we reconnected as young moms.
Last December, she said that they were moving to NC. I literally tried to think where around Wichita that could be. Where was she moving? I refused to believe it could be North Carolina.
Over sangria at Bella Luna Cafe, I held it together while she shared their dreams of Smoky Mountain living. But I was weepy at the thought of our nearly 30-year friendship diminishing instead of growing deeper.
One year later, Megan and I are closer than ever. Here are our tips on for growing a long distance friendship with the bestie that wants to live close to the mountains AND beach. (Like, I get it, but why did you leave me?)
You Get Me
It’s so awesome to have someone who understands. I think distance can make you think harder about WHO your friend is on deeper levels.
Tools like the 5 Love Languages and Enneagram can help and just be fun to discuss together. It can also help you to do and say things that are extra meaningful across the miles.
Would your friend love it if you…
- Mailed a book you loved?
- Put reminders of home in an envelope?
- Spent an evening on the phone with her?
- Sent a surprise gift?
I Can’t Believe You Remembered
It’s the best when a friend helps you through a hard time. It is icing on the cake when she is there for you again on that anniversary, even several years later.
Time seems to pass differently when you’re not back home with people, so it’s extra meaningful to be aware of what she has going on.
- Put annual reminders on your calendar for her happiest and saddest moments.
- Set a reminder on your phone to ask about that doctor’s appointment, dance recital or other thing she has coming up.
- If she’s struggling, put extra time or effort into showing up for her. You can’t drop off soup like you used to, but you can send tea through Amazon.
I Love Your Last Message
Bring on the tech!
Have an honest talk with your bestie about which social media apps and formats work best for both of you to keep in touch.
- Marco Polo, Snapchat and others send video messages the other can see whenever she’s free. Voxer is a great walkie talkie app to save time typing texts. Megan and I use Marco Polo nearly every day.
- Instagram Stories can help you to keep in touch with multiple people (you can have a Close Friends list.)
- Phone calls/FaceTime/Zoom let you have a real time conversation.
- There’s always good ole email and snail mail for long messages. There’s nothing like the joy of a “you’ve got mail” notification.
I Can’t Wait to See You
We booked an Airbnb to go hiking close by Megan and her family. We’re counting down the months.
It doesn’t always work, (and life is super unsure right now!) but it means a lot when you can reconnect in person.
- If you can drive a few hours out of your way to grab lunch.
- If you can plan out vacation time.
- If you’re back to see family and you prioritize grabbing drinks.
Until then, I’ll be seeing you on Marco Polo, friend!
“An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.” Chinese Proverb
