The Enneagram and Motherhood: “The Enthusiast” (Type 7)

From The Enneagram Institute: “Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.”

My Enneagram number was never in question. The Enthusiast, without a doubt. I mean, I took a half dozen quizzes just for the fun of it, but I’m a Seven through and through. In high school my superlative award was ‘Most Involved.’ It’s the one you give the girl who is Editor of the Newspaper, President of a couple clubs, volunteers on the side, works, and keeps a full social calendar all with a smile on her face. Once I had the keys to my teal ’93 Saturn Coupe I hit the ground running and haven’t slowed down since. Extroverted, versatile, achiever? Check, check, check. Over-extended, scattered, impatient? Maybe, but that’s my charm.

Mom life for a Seven is a dream. Raising young kids has been an exercise in indulging my inner insatiable curiosity. I may not have realized that I didn’t know for sure how many toes a rhinoceros has until my son asked, but now, just like him, I need to know right now. Twenty minutes later we all emerge from a deep-dive into odd-toed ungulates and we’re happy as can be. My kids are still solidly in the wanting/needing to be entertained phase. Is it because they are kids or because their Seven of a mom is also plagued with the need to always be doing something, preferably with an audience? Our house is loud. There’s music on, the TV is on, a podcast may be playing. The rumble is a constant; I thrive in it and the kids seem to too.

Much like a toddler who acts out when they’re bored, a Seven unstimulated will cause mischief. It is best to keep that daily schedule full. FOMO (fear of missing out) is a real thing; there’s no joy for me in missing out on an experience. An empty square on the family calendar is stressful. I’d rather pack those boxes with obligations or options, so I do. We’ve got something every night of the week and four birthday parties and two soccer games on the weekend? Don’t threaten me with a good time!

Do I avoid going to the grocery store for days because I have no idea what to buy (even though we eat the same five dinners constantly)? Sure. Sorry kids, it’s eggs or grilled cheese because my brain couldn’t wrap itself around a grocery list today. Do we start planning Halloween costumes in June? Heck yes. Halloween is not only a top ten holiday (there are no bad holidays), but it also is one where over-the-top is celebrated, which I, a Seven, can appreciate. Do I have spread sheets started for future vacations four years from now? Absolutely. The planning and the day dreaming and the researching every possibility is at least half the fun of traveling. 

There are parenting moments that challenge me, but they usually involve me having to override my own impulsive urges. I love to say yes. Yes, you can wear that superhero costume to the store. Yes, you can draw on your brother with marker. Yes, we can have a second dessert. Yes, we can push back bedtime because it is too nice outside to not go to the park tonight. Yes, we can adopt that tortoise. If I can say yes, I do; a healthier Seven would probably set more boundaries, learn to say ‘no’ more, and be less spontaneous. But where’s the fun in that?

One of my favorite quotes comes from the Mary Oliver poem “Sometimes.”

“Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it.”

It is everything I could dream for myself and my children. A life well-lived for me is one that is experienced fully, boldly, with wide-eyed appreciation and wonder. It is one that you share with others, embracing the richness that personal connections bring to your journey.

A Seven trope that is so, so me is the inability to settle on a path. Yes, I’m a woman in her mid-thirties who is still not quite sure what I want to be when I grow up. What I do know is that I love parenting these kids of mine. They’re constantly curious adventurers, they’re antsy and all over the place, they live for a party, and they believe anything is possible. Just like me.

Enthusiast Mom Profile:

Theme Song for Enneagram Type 7 & Favorite Line: “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen Not only is it a bop, but it is a party anthem that speaks to my 7w8 heart.

“Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive
And the world I’ll turn it inside out…”

Favorite Book & Why: “A Tree Grows In Brooklyn” by Betty Smith. It has been my fave for two decades, I reread it every few years and it holds up. I’ll happily talk your ear off about whichever 2-3 books I’m reading at the moment, though too.

Your kid falls off their bike and comes running to you in tears. How do you respond? Holler ‘Tape it up and walk it off!’

What’s in your purse right now (with pic for proof!): 

  • Mini wallet with my driver’s license, an old insurance card (I’ll never be the person who remembers to put the new one in my wallet), and memberships to our favorite local spots (Sedgwick County Zoo, Exploration Place, Botanica)
  • Key ring with passes and keys for the organizations I’m involved in and most importantly, a Tile (a true life saver! I never lose my keys, but I use the tile to find my constantly misplaced phone several times a week!)
  • Headphones. Podcasts are life.
  • Whichever of my dozen pairs of sunglasses aren’t lost at the moment
  • A selfie light (game changer)
  • Emergency phone power bank for the FOMO
  • Hotel keys from our last getaway
  • My reusable straw
  • A journal, but never any pens. Where are all my pens?
  • 3-D glasses because, why not?

Want to read more about the other Enneagram types? Click here!

Ginny Ellis
Ginny Ellis is a hometown girl who happily resides in East Wichita with her husband, two young sons, two rowdy dogs, and one spoiled tortoise. Together they enjoy taking part in all our city has to offer, especially if it involves being outdoors, supporting the arts, or is particularly delicious. She is a WAHM who serves as WMB's Events Director as well as holding volunteer positions in Junior League of Wichita, on her neighborhood elementary school's PTO Board, and for United Way of the Plains. Ginny is a podcast enthusiast, laundry folding procrastinator, and insatiable reader who loves the Shockers, theme parties, and her margaritas on the rocks.

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