5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a First-Time Mom

Now that I’ve been navigating the motherhood journey for a few years longer than a decade, I recognize how my perspective on motherhood has evolved over the years. There are a few things I wish I’d had an experienced mom share with me, so here they are!

Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re failing as a mom.

When the sleep deprivation and constant decision making wears on your self-confidence, it’s natural to feel like a failure in the most important job you’ve been given. Asking someone for ideas for getting out the dreaded blow-out stains (by the way, Oxi Clean is a necessity), someone to come hold the baby while you shower, suggestions on how to schedule your day, hiring a house cleaner, or getting only take-out are all completely normal things that any mom needs. When the baby is born, you don’t automatically have a new skill set. It’s great self-awareness to ask for a little support.

Don’t underestimate the power of swaddling.

When the nurses teach you to swaddle that newborn baby, pay attention, and have your partner watch too. Lightweight muslin blankets (Aden & Anais) were my favorite. If you prefer to get a failproof swaddle, check out the Swaddle Me for newborns. Swaddling newborns reduces that startle reflex that wakes baby. I love to swaddle newborns with their fists up near their face so they can start self soothing on their hands a bit. Once a baby starts rolling, it’s important to transition out of the swaddle (sometimes as early as 2 months, but typically occurs around 4 months.) By 6 months, you can transition to a sleep sack if you haven’t already. My favorite is the Magic Merlin.

It’s ok to change your mind.

Before you have a baby, you may decide you’re going to breast feed, or do Baby Led Weaning, or wait until 6 months to feed solids, or use cloth diapers. Whatever you decide initially, you absolutely can change your mind. You may decide that nursing is not your thing, or need the convenience of buying jarred foods, or recognize that your daycare providers are not on board with washing out diapers. It’s such a good decision to switch gears and try something different than what you had planned. Parenting is just an experiment anyway.

Breast feeding isn’t natural to everyone.

Even though I had a few friends who had decided to breast feed, I never even thought to ask them any questions about it because I assumed that since women have been breastfeeding since the beginning of time, I should be able to figure it out. Once my little one was born, I realized that it might be natural to some women, but I was not one of them. I had no idea what I was doing. Fortunately, the hospital where I gave birth, had a lactation specialist and I asked to see her several times while I was there to provide me guidance. Once I went back to work, I had to constantly think about my pumping schedule and work around it. I came home with just enough from my pumping sessions to combine with several pumping sessions each morning and night to put in bottles for the next day while my son was at daycare. It was a challenge! Fortunately, our community has some great lactation resources available. If you need some support for breastfeeding, there is support available!

Don’t forget to offer yourself grace.

Motherhood is HARD. Really hard. You’re going to make decisions you might wish you wouldn’t have. You may have moments that feel overwhelming. You have had a kid or 2 previously and this next one really throws you for a loop. All of the tricks you used before aren’t working. Please don’t forget to offer yourself some grace and recognize that the days are long, but the years are short.

Amy Foster
Amy is a lifelong Wichita-area resident, with the exception of her college and grad school years. Amy has worked as a pediatric physical therapist for a local non-profit organization during her 22 year career. She married Brett, a youth pastor turned special education teacher and coach, and can be seen supporting Andover Middle School with her two boys, aged 13 & 11, only 18 months apart! They keep her occupied in athletic activities . When she isn't busy momming, she likes to walk her dog in her neighborhood, and do embroidery by hand.

1 COMMENT

  1. Love it Amy, motherhood is hard, babies don’t come with a how to book. It’s scary and if you add in post partum depression that a lot if women have, it tough. While the internet is a great resource, it can also be defeating because a lot if women make it appear to be so easy. Thank you for doing this. So important.

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