I recently watched Finding Dory with my teenage daughter. Disney-Pixar created yet another gem of a movie. While the story was cute and the humor entertaining, I have to admit that some parts of the movie significantly tugged on my “mama-heart” strings. Here are my top three moments that reminded me that being a good parent matters:
- Hearing the parent fish talking one night about what’s going to happen to Dory. How many times have you found your conversations, contemplating the future of your child? Which preschool or day care do we like the most? Is she making friends on the playground? Is he making good choices when he’s out with his friends? Is she careful while she drives to school? Is that college the best fit for him? Will she marry a man who will take good care of her? Is he a man of integrity? Honestly, don’t we all worry so much about our kids, their safety, their character, and their happiness?
- Watching the parent fish practicing over and over how Dory should compensate for her short term memory loss. Our children are blessed with gifts and strengths, but their weaknesses also help shape who they are. Whatever that difficulty is – not a proficient reader, quiet and shy, minimal athletic ability, having a learning difference, not an artist, cannot match pitch or sing a tune – our children need to learn to accept that they will not be the best at everything they do, but they can always be their personal best in all things. As parents, we help our children recognize their weaknesses, we celebrate their differences and unique qualities, and we help them find ways to achieve their goals. Don’t we teach our own kids a skill set to be successful in the world?
- Out in the open water outside the Marine Institute, Dory sees a shell and remembers. Then the camera pans out to show all the paths of shells. Our kids sometimes get lost on this path of life. They wander away, learning how to independently maneuver through life’s twists and turns. As parents, it is our job to provide a place of acceptance because while we sometimes may not like what our child has done, we always love them with all our heart. Seriously, don’t we do all that we can to help our kids and won’t we always welcome them home?
For me, watching this movie reminded me that as parents we do the best that we possibly can to protect our children, to give them the confidence to go out into this big world, and to create a home is a safe place of unconditional love. The things we do as parents, the words that come out of our mouths, the way we treat others – these all make an impact on who our children are and what they will become. The lessons we teach them (even when we think they are not listening or watching us) do leave a lasting impression on their hearts and minds.
So when the days get long, during the times when parenting becomes difficult and you get discouraged, as Dory would say, “Just keep swimming” which translates to “Just keep loving” because it is the love of a parent that makes a difference.
