My Bump Is Not An Invitation :: What Not to Say to Expecting Moms

What Not to Say to Expecting Mommies | Wichita Moms BlogPregnancy brings with it an array of emotions, but who knew it would also deliver awkward conversations, comments and questions? This list of what not to say to expecting moms is sure to hit home!

1) “You’re due WHEN?” or “You’re huge! Are you sure you have the right due date.” You’d think that I’m ready to birth a hippo any day while also questioning my date of conception, sonograms and doctor. Since I still have 3 months to go this statement does nothing for my self-esteem.

2) “Are you sure you’re only having one?” or “Are you certain it’s not twins?”  It’s random that because I am expecting you feel safe calling me out on my weight, yet we don’t openly criticize people on their  body types in public under any other circumstance. Again, if my doctor and sonograms say one baby, then I’m pretty sure there’s ONE baby.

3) “When I had my baby…” horror stories. We know that this is one topic that unites women around the globe, and we appreciate you trying to make that connection with us…but…it is important to note that pregnant women do not desire births driven by fear. A majority of those stories shared are negative in nature and only give our imaginations more to obsess over, so let’s be positive!

4) “Make sure you are eating for two.” No, thank you. There are nutrition guidelines and supplements that are recommended. Believe me, we’re all doing the best we can. Please don’t criticize our diets! We’re growing a life next to internal organs which takes space so I can’t fit two meals at a time most days. I want to feel good, not overstuffed.

5)”Do you know what you’re having?” It makes people crazy when I tell them “No, we’re waiting to find out.” The immediate “Oh, I could never do that” statements come like flood waters. But really, please tell me why this matters so much to complete strangers? I am baffled as to why you need to know the anatomy of my unborn child.

6) “Enjoy life now!”  What does this statement even mean? That my life is about to be a nightmare? I look back at my life before kids and I can’t even imagine what I did for fun. I just don’t understand why it is implied that my life would be any less enjoyable with the addition of children. My definition of fun has simply changed.

7)”You’re still pregnant?” Reference 1 and 2 in regard to body shaming. Naturally, it takes 40 weeks to form a baby. Please be patient. Look for obvious answers before asking/making this statement. If I’m not holding a newborn, the answer most likely is “Yes, I am still pregnant.”

8) “Was it planned?” I don’t even know the proper response to this question or why it is asked. Can someone please help me out here? TMI.

9)  “Do you know how babies are made?” or “You know how to avoid that?”  I get it, sarcasm, right? Honestly, what a weird question/joke. I know it wasn’t because I “drank the water” or “kissed a boy” and it makes me feel like I’m fifteen and your trying to have the birds and the bees talk with me. Rest assured, given the circumstances, it is unnecessary at this time. I think I’ve figured it out.

10)  The opposite of #1 and #2, ” You’re so tiny” Mommies-to-Be come in various shapes and sizes. Please don’t condemn a mommy because of her size, big or small. It gives us MORE to worry about! Just encourage her and tell her how beautiful she is.

We all should be mindful when talking to  mommies to be. Words have consequences even if unintentional. Remember, we need love, encouragement, support and beautiful words so let’s praise mommies everywhere!

 

Marty Spence
Raised in Butler County, Marty is no stranger to Wichita and loves her Kansas roots. She attended Wichita State University where she majored in Business Administration and Marketing. Marty is a mom of 2 empowered little girls, Rio, age 1, and Trudy, age 3. When she's not chasing babies, she enjoys running Wichita's premier cold-pressed juicery, Songbird Juice Co.. She just celebrated her first year by opening a second location! Now you can get your health food fix in Riverside and Clifton Square! Since she rarely sits still, you can catch Marty spending any free time on random excursions with her little ones, catching dinner with her girlfriends, going on walks or enjoying a relaxing yoga class.