Because my first two children are 18 months apart, we’ve had two toddlers in our house for the last 2.5 years. This will continue for the foreseeable future, as the youngest just turned one and the middle child isn’t quite three.
The point is, we’ve been up to our eyeballs with toddlerhood and all that comes with it: the tantrums, the irrationality, the lack of sensibility, the lack of control, the lack of filter, the lack of reason. The negotiating, the meltdowns, the pleading, the whining. The cuddling, the hugs, the kisses, the hand holding, the smiles, the squeals, the belly laughs. There are times it drives me crazy, and there are times I can’t get enough.
Early on amidst the chaos of parenting multiple toddlers simultaneously, I realized I had to embrace it for what it is, and recognize that there is a reason for the cliched sayings about time moving too quickly, and savor the good times to endure the difficult ones. But I also quickly realized that as with all aspects of parenthood, I could learn some life lessons from my toddlers.
After all, I’m navigating each step of this gig for the first time too, and parenting is nothing but lesson after lesson after lesson kicking you in the pants in the best possible way.
- Fight for what you want. (Maybe not by pushing and hitting and kicking and pulling and pinching and biting. In fact, definitely not by those tactics.) But toddlers put their entire being into what’s important to them, and their zeal is unmatched. They bring passion and energy into everything they do.
- Be quick to forgive. My older two children fight like cats and dogs, and then a minute later they are inseparable again, having THE most fun in all the land. They don’t dwell, hold grudges, or plot revenge. They fight, make up, and move on.
- Nap. Probably the reason for their aforementioned spirit! They may fight it, but a good nap can cure pretty much anything in Toddler Land. There have been days that I made myself nap when they do (well beyond the newborn hazy days) because I need to change my attitude and a little shut-eye is just the ticket.
- Slow down! I read an article long ago that has stayed in the back of my mind when I’m choosing verbiage to get my kids moving. Sometimes, I realize we actually don’t need to be moving that quickly. Or at all. I’m a type-A, list-checker, over-planner, over-committer, but my kids have an entirely different agenda, and I’ve worked to become more type-B (or at least an A minus) in order to accommodate and enjoy the way my tots notice the world around them. I try to build in more time for routines, but also allow for times when we can just be. When we can go for walks around the block and smell flowers, pick up sticks, wave at neighbors, and creep at a snail-pace until we make it back home. For them and for me.
- Graze. I’m convinced my toddlers would eat all day, every day if I let them. It feels like I’ve barely cleaned up breakfast, and they’re ready for a snack. (It feels this way because it IS this way.) They keep those little metabolisms in high gear and they don’t overeat. Brilliant.
- Don’t care what others think. Little ones are completely oblivious to outside opinions and social norms. I can’t keep my oldest dressed. The second we get home, he strips down to his underwear, and he loves it. He feels free! And my daughter tries to wear her pink rain boots, whether we’re in a drought, headed to the pool, or actually scouting for puddles to jump in. She rocks them! Live it up, kids, live it up.
- It’s the little things. My kids flip out over new popsicle print pajamas and having their favorite snacks stocked in the pantry. They love new books to thumb through and running through the sprinklers together. Taking a walk to the Little Free Library in our neighborhood and Facetiming their grandparents are some of their favorite things to do. They celebrate anything and everything, and we should, too! They suck every ounce of joy out of their day, and darn it, it looks like fun. They’re definitely on to something, and I want to be there with them. Tantrums, boogers, and all.
