I Thought I Had A “Good” Baby

After having my second child people would frequently ask, “Is he a good baby?” My immediate response would always be, “Yes!” I thought he was amazing! No, he didn’t sleep much, neither of my kids have been good sleepers, but he was always cheerful and smiling.

When the school year started last fall, I decided to enroll my kids in Mom’s Day Out. As much as I loved putting my teaching career on hold to be with the kiddos all day, I knew I needed time to learn how to balance being a work-at-home mom amid the needs of the little ones.

My son was about six months old, and I wasn’t surprised that he had a hard time in the beginning. The bottle had always been a battle for us – more accurately a flat-out refusal! I thought that would be his one and only issue. As reports of “needing extra attention” and “easily upset” came home with him week after week, I started to realize they weren’t seeing the same baby I did day in and day out. After additional confirmation from my mom and sister who occasionally watch him, I came to the realization that he is only a “good baby” for his mommy.

It made me stop and think, “What makes a good baby?”

A “good baby” can’t be defined by one simple thing. Being a good sleeper or a good eater makes life easier, but it doesn’t define them. “Is your baby a good baby?” is a question mothers hear frequently – I’ve even caught myself asking it from time to time. Yet, here I am, unable to find the correct answer. It’s more complicated than a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. You can’t possibly jumble all that makes a baby a BABY into one question/answer and decide whether a baby is “good”. Even if you tried, as their mother, wouldn’t you tally all the things that you think are their best traits and slap on the good baby label? Little ones will have their ups, their downs, and their quirks. As moms, we learn our how to read our babies’ emotions and cultivate healthy habits. We play defense against the things we find that upset them and engage in the things that reward us with wide smiles. There is no need to play referee and keep score on whether or not to classify them as “good”, because in your eyes they will always be good.

And that’s the way it should be.

As we round the corner on his first birthday, I’ve pretty much mastered having him with me at all times: while doing laundry, working on my computer, doing dishes, while he sleeps, while I sleep…at all times. He even managed to wiggle his way on a plane for an adults-only trip to Chicago.

I know is this stage is temporary. Yes, my independence is sparse right now, but the cuddles and acts of affection are countless. There will be a day he needs his space from me as he grows older and becomes a little man. I know when that day comes, I will miss this.

For now – just for a little while – I’ve said goodbye to the idea of personal space and doing anything with out my sidekick. I’ll do my best to savor the feeling of his little hands clinching into my skin, the way his whole body tightens with excitement, and how he grins from ear to ear with the sweetest little squeal every time he sees me. It’s a pretty special feeling being needed and adored.

I’m holding onto these moments and holding onto my good baby.