In Kansas, a mother is excused from jury duty while she is breastfeeding her child, because by law, jury obligations are postponed while breastfeeding. The law acknowledges that breastfeeding is a full-time gig, even when a mother is away from her child.
What if you’re not a juror, but the attorney in the courtroom? Or the court reporter. Or the judge. What if your job doesn’t lend itself to timely pumping breaks? How do you advocate for your needs in a room full of people who may not be on the same page?
When I went back to work after having my daughter, I was grateful that breastfeeding was going well and my employer was supportive of my desire to pump at work. For the first few months, I had the luxury of pumping in my office as often as I needed. But eventually I was scheduled for out-of-town depositions. For three days, I would be in a conference room interviewing witnesses with several other attorneys, none of whom I’d met before in person. No way around it—I would have to announce that I was breastfeeding and needed a break to pump.
My anxiety began quickly after this realization. Then the over-analysis kicked in. I’m going to inconvenience everyone! Sigh. They won’t understand! Palms sweating. They won’t see me as a professional, just a young mother asking for favors! Full panic. I spent several days inside my head thinking about the parade of horribles that I was sure would start the moment I said the words “breast pump” to opposing counsel.
A few days before
the trip, I talked to my husband about my concerns while we were making dinner. As he was chopping an onion, I asked for his advice. “Should I e-mail the other attorneys in advance to let them know I’ll need pumping breaks?” He put down the knife. Looking at me, he asked the question I needed to hear: “Would you expect an older male attorney to e-mail you in advance to apologize for his prostate and the frequent bathroom breaks he needs?”
He was right.
If I was a man, I would take my breaks without apology…and so I did.
When the moment came and I announced I needed a break, none of my fears came true. One of the opposing attorneys told me his wife was a college professor who had to take pumping breaks mid-class while she was breastfeeding. He even offered to bring me lunch so I wouldn’t have to pump and find food. And it was clear from our exchanges that no one questioned my professionalism or skill simply because I had revealed myself to be a breastfeeding mother.
The law also states that it is “the public policy of Kansas that a mother’s choice to breastfeed should be supported and encouraged to the greatest extent possible.” By questioning whether I should advocate for my needs as a breastfeeding professional, I failed to support and encourage myself. It isn’t easy to announce your needs, especially when you fear others won’t understand. But from now on – I’m not sorry, we need to take a break so I can pump.
