My husband and I bought our first house thinking it’d be a good 3-5 year home for us. Well, one dog, three kids, and seven years later, we’re still here! There are days it feels as if the walls are closing in, but most times we’re content with it. We’ve learned how to make every room work more efficiently and harder for us, and as our life has evolved, so has our space. Our guest room turned into a guest room/office, then our daughter’s room, and now our daughters’ room. I stressed a lot about our living situation when I was pregnant with our third, hoping and praying we’d find the perfect house with more space and bedrooms to move into before she arrived, but we didn’t. So she slept in our room for her first six months, until she was too big for her sweet little wooden cradle. We did our bedtime routine that first night, and put the girls to bed, just steps away from each other and…they fell asleep. I couldn’t believe it.
I checked on them before I went to bed that night. Still asleep.
I woke up around 3am per usual when the baby was fussing to be fed. Toddler – still asleep.
The dog came in to see what I was doing. Still asleep.
I put the baby back to bed, and returned to our room. Still asleep.
My husband was a wee bit smug the next morning acting as if he knew it would be that simple all along. I thought it was a fluke, and told him I’d text him when the true test came, and things were in shambles…nap time.
Spoiler alert – they slept.
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The girls have been room sharing for almost a year now, and we’ve had some bumps in the road, but for the most part, they rock it.
A few things that have helped us catch the most zzzzzzz’s with the least amount of resistance (most days):
1. White Noise – Crank that soothing sound up! Naptime, bedtime, every time. It sets the tone, and helps lull tired eyes shut. Plus, if one child or the other is making a bit of noise, it doesn’t quite sound so loud or jarring to the other as they’re trying to fall asleep.
2. Black-Out Curtains – If it’s harder to see the other kiddo across the room, they’re less likely to be enticed to stay awake. And frankly, everyone sleeps better in a dark, dark space.
3. Distance – This was by default because of the space and configuration of the girls’ shared room, but we have our toddler’s twin bed up against one wall, and the baby’s crib on the other side of the room along another, with a dresser in between. Even just the few steps between cuts back on a lot of antics that could happen by just popping up and being next to each other.
4. Personality – We actually tried to get our two oldest to share a room before our third was born. I just knew it would be better since they were on the same schedule, and wouldn’t have to deal with me coming in and out throughout the night to feed the baby. Well. I was wrong. So, so wrong. Our oldest is a *bit* strong-willed. (Read – the strongest willed child ever known to exist.) And also a little (LOT) bit ornery. So for the two weeks that we tried to get them to sleep in the same space, we had skipped naps, children found on top of the aforementioned dresser climbing across to each others beds, tears (theirs and mine), and total loss of control. It was a nightmare. Lesson learned? He will likely never be able to share a room with anyone. That may be a bit awkward when he gets married, so I guess he’ll just have to live with me forever. Ha. But seriously, our middle is easy going, sweet, nurturing, and falls asleep easily and quickly. She’s likely the biggest reason having two kiddos bunking up has gone so smoothly.
5. Staggering – Most days, the girls go down for their afternoon nap at the same time, and most days that’s fine. However, if they start acting up instead of winding down, I take one of them out for just a couple of minutes until the other left behind has gotten sleepy enough that even if they’re still awake when I bring back the other, they’ll just give in and fall asleep.
6. Discipline – We started using Love and Logic around the time the girls started sharing, and that discipline method has been a huge help on the days the older fights falling asleep and/or leaving her younger sister alone. We’ve found not letting things get out of hand has a huge impact, as well.
7. Books vs. Toys – The girls’ room is fairly small so there’s not a lot of room for extras after a rocker, twin bed, crib, dresser, etc. We do have a wall of books by the twin bed that keep our toddler entertained (and in bed) when she’s not quite sleepy enough to fall asleep vs having toys nearby that could potentially wind her up (or end up in the crib).
8. Back-Up Plan – There are days where like all toddlers (or babies), one or both, just fight falling asleep. It’s typically at nap time, and I’ve learned that if I’ve gone in a few times to diffuse the situation and slumber still isn’t happening, it probably won’t until they’re separated. It used to be I could put the baby to sleep on our bed, but once she started rolling it’s got to be the toddler now. If she ends up in our room she knows it’s serious and is pretty quick to give in and get some shut-eye.
9. Attitude – As with all things in parenting, there are days when nap time seems nearly impossible and my usual tricks aren’t working, and I just have to admit defeat for the day and hope for better tomorrow. And have a glass of wine. Because #earlybedtime
