Self Love, 101

This is the month we focus on other people to love, but you can’t forget about the person you need to love first: yourself.

I used to think that self love was a marketing ploy to sell products to indulge myself, or you had to be some sort of unachievable balanced person that has mastered their mental and emotional side. I thought that self love was focusing only on ourselves, in a tree-hugging new age kinda way.

Where would I start, and besides who has time for that, especially as mothers?

Well, not all of that is totally accurate. I realized that I needed to practice more self love when I was at a very unbalanced and vulnerable place in my life. It didn’t require me buying new products. There was no sage or planet tracking involved, and it didn’t take anymore time away from my already tightly-budgeted routines.

But the impact of practicing self love has changed my life.

Studies show that practicing self love can cultivate good mental health, and even lower depression and anxiety. Understanding the value of self love will change how you feel about yourself and how you see others as well.

Here are some easy ways to cultivate those deep feelings of love for who you are.

Change your self talk.

Moms, change your internal dialog to how you would talk to your child. Think of when they are embarrassed, or when they feel like they are not good enough. What do you say to them? Have compassion for your downfalls and celebrate your strengths with real and positive words in your mind.

If you wouldn’t say it to your child, don’t say it to yourself!

Listen to your gut feeling.

This one can be hard because we need to learn to separate our gut feelings from our wants and desires. Don’t be distracted by shinny objects, unless you have absolute clarity it is for you. If you don’t have clarity, wait for it. Listen deeply to what you know to be your truth and stand for it.

Discover beauty in everything about yourself.

Ladies, we’re moms, and unless you hit the genetic jackpot you probably do not look the same as you did pre-children.

And that’s more than okay, it’s an awesome trade.

You get to define your own beauty. In your mind, rewrite how you think about your post-baby body, those freckles, your wild hair, or JLO booty athletic build. We have the control to feel however we want about our least favorite parts. Choose to love them because they are as unique as you and after all, this is the body that supported life for your family. 

Be authentic.

That goofy, funny, smart, deep thinking, or quirky self is your best side, I promise. Your vibe attracts your tribe! We will only attract the best people in our life when we stop worrying what everyone thinks about us. If you can release others from having that control over you, you begin to understand that the ones who judge you or are disrespectful to you are only hurting inside. Just be you.

February is the perfect time to show other people how much we care about them. This year, include yourself on that roster to experience well deserved comfort (and dare I say bliss?) in your own skin.

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Denise Dopps
Denise is a chiropractor and speaker, wife to Ryan, and mama to Eli (b. 2009), Hadley (b. 2012), and three-going-on-thirteen youngest daughter Lucy (b. 2015). She moved to Wichita with her husband in 2007 after living in West Michigan and Dallas, Texas, but Wichita became her home from the start. With a Bachelors in Graphic Design and Marketing and Doctorate of Chiropractic, she co-owns a practice with her husband in East Wichita where they find joy in serving others throughout our community. In her spare time, Denise loves to record her podcast which empowers others in vocabulary and etiquette of communication. Denise enjoys being involved in her church when possible, is passionate about healthy food and exercise, and appreciates listening to a good podcast while doing chores. With all that needs to be done in a day, she never misses the opportunity to remind her children that they are the most important part of it.


  1. Very good words to live by. We as women tend to give and give and give of our efforts, to our families, our careers and to the world. If we do not take care and love ourselves deeply, we eventually have nothing to give any where else.

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