Tips From a Sometimes Insomniac

Prior to having kids, I could fall asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow. I couldn’t fathom the idea of having to try to fall asleep, when it was something I did without even thinking. And not only did I fall asleep easily, I slept HARD once I was out for the night. I’m talking, slept through fire alarms!

Maybe it’s due to hormonal changes or a switch that flipped once I became a mother, or maybe it’s just a natural part of aging, but sleep doesn’t come so easy anymore – and when I do fall asleep, I sometimes wake up at the smallest sounds and have a horrible time falling back to sleep. It’s funny – I have never been more tired than I am now as a parent, so you would think that I would collapse into bed every night and be out cold, just from the sheer exhaustion of this stage of life! But, lo and behold, that’s not the case. After a long, hard day of work followed by wrangling my wild twins, some nights I crawl into bed, close my eyes…. and nothing happens. Hours pass by and still nothing, and before I know it, my alarm clock reminds me that it’s time to get up for the day. But wait! I didn’t sleep at all, and now I’m supposed to get out of bed and FUNCTION?!

Thankfully, this is not an every-night battle – it happens infrequently enough that I don’t feel I need to seek medical intervention at this point, but it is often enough to leave me desperate to find anything I can do in the evenings to keep the restlessness at bay. Below are some of the methods that I’ve found that have made falling asleep and staying asleep a battle that I win more often than not lately.

Turn the alarm clock around – I’m old-school and use an actual clock instead of relying on my phone alarm to wake me up, but the problem it was presenting was two-fold. The faint light from my clock was bothering me, and seeing how little time I had left before morning came made me anxious which made falling asleep even harder. By turning my clock around to face away from me, it solved both of these problems.

Use an eye mask – As mentioned above, even the trace amount of light from my alarm clock was bothering me. In my younger days, I could conk out with lights on and TV blaring. Now, I need complete darkness. I like that the mask puts a little pressure on my eyelids too, which is oddly soothing to me – I imagine it’s how a weighted blanket works, but for my eyes.

Find a calming scent – Whether it’s diffusing an essential oil blend or applying a specific lotion or anything else, find a scent that you associate with bedtime and use it consistently before bed. Your brain will begin to connect it with nighttime and winding down. In an act of desperation, I purchased a lotion called “Sleepy” from Lush and the scent is intoxicating – even thinking about it right now is making my eyelids droop. It’s pricey for lotion (or maybe I’m just cheap?) but it lasts forever and I haven’t been able to find anything else that smells quite like it.  That’s my personal preference, but there are tons of lotions and oils aimed at helping to promote restfulness and relaxation!  Maybe it’s just a placebo effect, but it works for me so I’m rolling with it.

Supplements – My troubles sleeping started when I was pregnant, and my doctor encouraged me to start drinking powdered magnesium “tea” to help me stay asleep, and it made a difference – and simultaneously relieved some of my other pregnancy woes! Magnesium deficiency is a common issue with many symptoms that I had never realized were related to it. I don’t drink it every night anymore like I did when I was pregnant, but when I can just feel it’s going to be a restless night, I’ll have some before I hit the hay.

The other supplement that comes to mind is melatonin, which I loathed for the longest time. It left me feeling very groggy the next day, and made me have wicked nightmares. I also felt like I had to take it in order to fall asleep, even with the side effects, and that feeling of dependency scared me. Addiction runs rampant in my family, so I ended up shunning melatonin for a long time because of that fear. In the end, it turns out I was just using a dosage way too high for me. I found a low-dose brand that is just enough to get me to sleep without any residual grogginess or other side effects, and without any feelings of dependence. Like the magnesium tea, I don’t take it every night – generally just when the above steps have failed and I’m still lying in bed awake after some time has passed.

Though it may not come as easy to me as it once did, I am thrilled to finally have steps in place to help ensure that this tired mama gets as much shut-eye as possible! Sleep is so vital, especially to parents who are already run ragged and probably aren’t getting enough anyways, before any other hindrances enter the picture. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to slather on some of that sweet Sleepy lotion, pull on my eye mask, and hit the hay!


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Courtney Pope
Courtney is a hometown girl who never planned on staying in Kansas or even having a family of her own, and now resides in Andover with her college sweetheart Zack (m. 2012), their twin daughters Ella and Emily (b. 2016), and their dogs Lady and Roscoe. She is a bank auditor for her 'day job,' and when she isn't chasing her toddlers or failing to conquer the never-ending piles of laundry and dishes, she enjoys going on dates with her husband, experiencing old favorites and new adventures through the eyes of her kids, iced coffee and hot tea, and devouring audiobooks and podcasts (savoring the rare paper book when time allows).