How often are you running around completely frazzled? Stressed out, or you forgot about an event or something on your schedule and are about ready to scream (or cry)? We definitely had those moments. What we were experiencing in our home was a major lack of communication between all members of the family.
I was going to the grocery store at least four times a week for items I didn’t know we were out of, because they were not on our original weekly list or what I thought we needed for dinner that night. I was needing to stop at stores to pick up things for the kids’ school the day before they needed them, when we could have easily planned getting them earlier. Juggling after school pickups between me and my husband because one of us would forgot about an event we needed to be at after work. The result of that was typically messed up dinner plans, too. Something had to budge! We needed a communication strategy to put us all on the same page.
Enter, the family meeting!
Our family meeting is basically a forum for everyone to be heard and where we plan activities and control our home life.
We hold our meeting during the weekend, typically Saturday or Sunday afternoon, depending on our schedule. It typically lasts a half hour because our children are little and don’t have as much to contribute. However, our four year old son is very particular about his clothes and both boys like to help make dinner decisions. Therefore, this is the time where they get to have a voice and be a part of the decision on what we will eat for the week and what they want to wear. This definitely helps me, when it comes to morning time and the boys not being happy with what they are wearing for the day. Both of our children like to help decide our dinner plans and be a part of the meal preparation process. We like to try at least one new recipe a week (hoping to add it to our quick reference of meals we like) and I have found that the boys typically eat most of their meal because they are proud that they helped pick it out or make it. To do any of these things, we have to plan for it and are able to do it ahead of time in our family meeting.
Our weekly agenda will always include the following:
- Determine meals and grocery needs for the week
- Review calendar and schedules for the week, so we know who needs to be where and when
- Pick out clothes for the week
- Get backpacks and school items ready for the week
- Plan ahead for fun family activities
For my kids, really just my oldest at this point, we have seen this help with decision making and problem solving. My husband and I had become tired of the morning arguments over clothing items that he didn’t want to wear and typically loved. We would hear, “These pants are too baggy”, “These shoes don’t match” or “This shirt isn’t the right color”. Having him set aside time to pick out the clothes for the week removed the daily struggle we faced with him and also didn’t slow us down during the week, since the decision was already made.
How to plan a family meeting:
- Pick a time and day of the week to hold a regularly scheduled meeting
- Have an agenda on what decisions need to be made
- Include brainstorming
- Have a calendar out
For a family meeting to be successful, we believe that everyone needs to have a voice. We definitely try to not let my husband or I dominate the meeting and offer guidance for our children. Everyone knows they have to be at the meeting, and with a two year old included in this, sometimes we have to get a little creative to keep his full attention. The majority of the time we include snacks and paper for our kids to make “notes” too. We have a weekly calendar where we list the activities we have scheduled, dinners and any other meals we will eat as a family. We plan the grocery list and a list of other items we are running low on for activities, school or the household. We also like to plan ahead. We schedule date nights, fun family activities and house projects. We talk about the previous week and give appreciations, gratitude and discuss any problems someone might be facing.
As our kids get older I am sure chores will be more spread out among the family, and this will become more of a discussion item. Currently we give the boys a few standard chores each week and then ask for their help when working on projects. Often they surprise us by taking care of things we didn’t ask for, because they say we talked about them during our meeting. Overall, the family meeting in our household has helped us stay organized and know what is expected and on the calendar for the week.
Make sure you never miss out on things to do in Wichita: subscribe to our weekly Wichita Mom newsletter! Be the first to know about our exclusive events, special offers and discounts, neighborhood group activities and, of course, local resources and parenting voices powered by local Wichita moms!
