Different Schedules, Same Family: Staying Connected When You Have Opposite Hours

 

Over the course of our marriage, my husband and I have never been on the same work schedule, and honestly, we  probably never will be. He has worked weekends, late into the night, and now currently wakes up at 3 am to get to his job (which also means he has to go to bed very early). My job on the other hand has pretty standard hours but there is absolutely no wiggle room on when my day starts and ends. Over the years we’ve learned how to dance around our crazy-different schedules to keep our marriage and family functioning (and for the most part really happy!)!  I’ll fully admit that we are always figuring out how to keep our days running smoothly, but here are a few tips we have learned among the way:

 

One of the toughest things about being on opposite schedules is that I find myself just flat out missing my husband. We’ve learned that just because we aren’t with each other as much during a day doesn’t mean we can’t both be a part of it! Every morning before he goes to work, my husband gets the coffee pot ready for me so all I have to do is press “brew” and I’ve got my must-have to start the day. His work day ends around lunch time, so I try to always have an easy-to-fix lunch waiting for him in the refrigerator that he can heat up as soon as he gets home. Doing these little things reminds us that the other one cares as we go about our day!

 

My husband and I try to keep household responsibilities even, but we naturally fell into the roles of me taking care of the indoor chores while he tackled the yard and cars. Before we had kids this worked, but since adding the littles we were losing our minds trying to keep our house running the way we always had. We realized that he has more time at home in the afternoon while I’m at work and our kids are at daycare, so it would really make more sense for my husband to pick up and fold laundry without our tiny destroyers present. It was hard for me to release those responsibilities to him – mainly because I like doing things a certain way – but I realized ANY other way was better than me trying to take on impossible tasks. On the flip side, I started mowing the lawn (something I never thought I’d do either!) so that my husband can spend time with the kids or catching up on his sleep, two things he misses out on at times because of his work hours. I have grown to like the exercise and a chance to actually listen to a podcast without being interrupted! 

 

Being on very different schedules during the week, our weekends are sacred to our family. We have really learned to politely decline doing some things friends and family invite us to because we know that sometimes we need to just be together. Not to say that we don’t love to see friends on the weekends, but if we are feeling the strain of connecting as a family from the prior week, we feel confident in saying “no” to put our family first.