What a Women’s Group Taught Me About Vulnerability

During the course of the past several months, I have been a part of a women’s monthly Bible study, in which all members are moms. (Before I go on, this is not a post about religion; it’s about an important lesson we as moms should follow.) 

Between Bible verses and sips and snacks, we would often go off on tangents regarding our biggest struggles, mostly involving parenthood. As we talked at each monthly meeting, we began to shed our skin, revealing our true emotional selves. We were working on our faith, yes, but also bonding by becoming vulnerable. One of the most important things Christianity teaches us is to be vulnerable. This is a difficult, yet beautiful philosophy. Often, we prayed for each other the same prayers we all muttered for ourselves at some point in our lives. 

I’m about to really open up here: I am mom who deals with loads emotional anxiety involving parenting, and the responsibility feels heavy. Tons of weight, every day. These Bible studies were eye-opening and refreshing to me. I could share these anxieties with my mom friends and with the Lord. Who else deals with parenting-induced anxiety? I’ll bet most of you are raising your hands.

Just being a mom, oh what a role, what a job. How does one excel at this position? We strive to be these natural moms, the ones who do it so effortlessly — picture perfectly. We are all, in fact, unnatural in so many ways, just struggling to find the right way to navigate certain situations. And guess what, we all feel unprepared and ineffective! You’re actually normal no matter how unnatural you feel! I guess you could say it’s natural to feel unnatural as a mom. You’re not alone, and I am not alone in these feelings. I promise you that outwardly “put together” mama sitting next to you at the Chick-fil-A play place is swimming in exhaustion and parenting anxiety, too.  Look at her, chat with her, and have a real conversation with her, between kissing boo-boos, of course.

By owning our moments of weakness, we actually become empowered. Think about journal and diary writing as it brings forth a sense of release for many. But those feelings are between that person and a notebook. What a support system will do is give you that release with a dose of counsel and love. Hopefully this will help to avoid letting those emotions out in an undesirable way when you’ve stepped on one too many LEGOS.

Help and support are such heavy words aren’t they? Why are we keeping our struggles within our minds and the walls of our homes? Lean on your God, or lean on your friends and family, but don’t go to battle silently. It’s in these desperate times that you can make some of the deepest connections with those upon whom you lean. Wherever you find support, whether it be in a Bible group or periodic nights out with your best mama friends, this support can rescue and deliver us from our struggles and allow us to celebrate our successes. 

Successes…that brings me to my next realization. After several meetings, something became very clear to me.  We mamas are constantly talking about what we are doing wrong, and never focus on what we do right, the negatives over the positives. We can experience so much joy in parenthood, and have so much to celebrate and to be proud of! It’s challenging to look past difficult times and our imperfections; however, encourage yourself and others to take time to focus on all the beautiful things you’re doing for your children!

Remember, when the giant seems too big to slay, lean in. Lean into that person or spirit who can lift you up. Find and build trust by becoming vulnerable.  There’s a calming freedom in vulnerability.

 


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Nicole Nickel
Hi, I’m Nicole! I’m a mommy to two young kids: Scarlet and Easton, and wife to Justin. We also have 2 furbaby Labs. I am an Oklahoma girl, born and raised. I’ve been here in Wichita since October 2016. Moving from my home of Norman has been tough, but what a great community to relocate! We love to get out explore the area, finding fun family activities! In addition to mom and wife, I am speech-language pathologist. Some of my favorite things-being an OK girl, I am a die-hard OU football fan (Boomer!), being outdoors, traveling, friends and family, wine and coffee!