My daughters are 9 ½ years apart. My oldest just turned 10 and my youngest is 7-months-old, and there’s no one in between! They are at two very different stages of live, but you know what, I love it!
Here’s why…
It’s Like Having A Second Mom
Since my oldest had been an only child most of her life, initially I was a little worried that there may be some jealousy or that it would be hard for her to form a relationship with the new baby. Sure, there was a little natural awkwardness at first, but after the first few days passed, something magical happened.
Her motherly instincts kicked in!
She wanted to do the normal things like hold her, change her diaper and dote on her, but there was something else there. She was emotionally invested in her baby sister’s care and well-being. If the baby cried, she’d rush to her side. If the baby needed something, she was quick to go get it.
She was her little sister’s advocate, too. She’d tell me things like, “Mama, she’s hungry! Hurry, you need to feed her!” or “Mama, she needs you NOW!” Let me tell ya, if there was any slacking on the job going on, she would have been the first to call it.
My oldest has a natural maturity and patience that makes her such a caring and thoughtful big sis. The way she tends to her baby sister with such earnest and devoted care is both a heart-melter and a huge help!
They’re Friends
Age isn’t a barrier to their young, blossoming friendship! They both light up when they see each other and they still have that unspoken language that siblings who are close in age seem to have. They communicate through silly expressions and lots of laughs. If you have a 10-year-old in your life, you know how silly they can be!
The biggest laughs I’ve heard from our baby have come from the interactions she has with her big sister. No one can make her laugh the way she does!
My oldest can play on her little sister’s level, but she’s also very aware of her wants and needs, which makes her the kind of friend any girl would love to have!
I Appreciate Both Their Stages of Life
One daughter likes to read mystery novels and the other likes to suck her toes. The dramatic spread in their ages gives me a peephole into two special times of life. I’m chatting with my oldest about life’s burning questions (and boy, are there many!)—and with my youngest, I’m enjoying the sweet snuggles against her soft baby skin.
I respect, and appreciate, both of their stages of life for their unique moments.
I get to experience all the baby “firsts” without distraction. I know those moments are fleeting, so I’m soaking them up. Turns out after a handful of years have passed, you forget just about everything, so it’s almost like I’m experiencing them for the first time again!
My days are filled with baby things, but not without some comic relief or a kind gesture from my 10-year-old. She loves to help her Mama and I always enjoy her stories, million-and-a-half questions and interesting perspective on the world around her!
We Talk Even More
Seeing the baby learn to do new things prompts a lot of conversation with my oldest. She’s very curious to learn about her own baby milestones! So we’ve popped out her baby book many times to read about when she first smiled, crawled or waved goodbye. She loves to find the similarities between her and her little sister. It’s been a natural way for her to reflect and learn more about when she was a baby!
I Have Some Perspective
I’ve been there, I’ve done it and in the process, I ended up with a pretty remarkable 10-year-old (how did that happen?). I don’t get too caught up in worrying. My youngest doesn’t have teeth yet, she isn’t interested in crawling and she’s bald as bald can be. I know that everything comes in due time and she’ll do it all when she’s ready.
Though I’ve had to relearn some baby things, and can feel uncertain at times, I know I can trust my mom-gut. It’s there and it hasn’t lead me wrong!
The big gap between my children is interesting, funny, rewarding and beautiful. There is no formula for friendship, connection or love between siblings. Enjoy the spread and savor the special moments!
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