What I Didn’t Know About Postpartum Depression

My assumptions about postpartum depression prior to the birth of my second child were just that, big ole assumptions. 

Turns out, what I thought was true about PPD was far from it. 

Postpartum depression hit me like a freight train the second day after my (now three-month-old) daughter was born. While in the hospital, my husband had brought me one of my favorite soups for lunch, but I just couldn’t force it down. I was holding back a flood of tears, which eventually made their way into a usually delectable tomato bisque.

This story does have a happy ending, though, which is important for the women reading this to know. Because when you’re in the midst of postpartum depression, you don’t believe that happy endings are possible for you. At least I didn’t.

I felt caught off guard by my postpartum depression, but I shouldn’t have been. It affects a lot of women. There are about three million cases in the United States every year – and that’s just the reported ones!

Looking back, it was my misconceptions about PPD that ultimately lead to my bewilderment.

Myth #1: If You Didn’t Have PPD with Your First Child, You Won’t with Your Second

While pregnant, I remember my husband asking me if I thought I would experience postpartum depression with my second child. “Nah, of course not!” I responded with such confidence. Why? Because I didn’t with my first.

Well, guess what, that didn’t matter. PPD doesn’t care, and if you think about it, it makes sense. We are different people between our pregnancies. Our hormones are different, our babies are different. So why wouldn’t our bodies react differently, too? 

Myth #2: PPD is About Depression, Not Anxiety 

Depression and anxiety often go hand in hand. My initial understanding of PPD was that it was limited to extreme sadness, which isn’t the case. While sadness was certainly a part of my experience, my anxiety was at an all-time high. I wanted to be the one to care for my baby, but I was filled with fear. It controlled my emotions and physical well being. 

My anxiety was the worst at night because the visitors (and the helpers) were gone. I would go to bed with a tight chest and a wired mind. Though I was incredibly sleep deprived, I couldn’t relax or sleep. Night or day, I experienced intense feelings of despair and hopelessness that were all fueled by my anxiety.

Myth #3: Baby Fever is a PPD Repellent 

I was so excited to have a baby. For years, I had “baby fever” and could hardly wait for the snuggles, coos and another little person to love. 

I hate to admit it, but I thought this made me exempt from PPD. I just couldn’t comprehend how I could experience one ounce of sadness when all I wanted was this baby. 

Having PPD doesn’t mean you wanted your baby any less or love your baby any less, though.

When that little person enters your life, your world is flipped upside down and putting the pieces back together can be messy. My emotions were so complex. I loved my baby and was thankful for her safe arrival into the world, but I also couldn’t get through the day without crying. 

I don’t share this to scare excited moms-to-be, but rather, to normalize PPD. Don’t feel guilty or that you are unique in your pain. You are not alone!

Myth #4: If I’ve Overcome Anxiety and Depression Before, PPD Won’t Affect Me as Badly 

I laugh when I think about this now. 

Since childhood, I’ve struggled with anxiety. And because I’ve learned to manage it, I thought this would somehow give me thicker skin or shield me from the scary depths of PPD.

False!

If you’re prone to anxiety, don’t be surprised or disappointed with yourself (like I was), if PPD comes knocking.

As a person who lives with anxiety, I have to realize that it’s always going to affect me at different points in my life. But! I have the tools and power to manage it and keep it from sticking around for an extended vacation.

Myth #5: PPD is My New Normal

This is the lie I told myself once PPD showed up at my door. PPD is not your new normal. You’ll arrive at a new postpartum normal, but postpartum depression ain’t it! 

First, you need to get help though.

Truth #1: Help Can Quickly Change Things 

Within a week after my daughter was born, my family encouraged me to go to my OB’s office and get the help I needed. My OB reassured me that what I was going through was normal and that I would get through it. For the first time, I felt hopeful.

With her recommendation, I started therapy as well as a medication that got me to turn the corner. It was only a matter of days before I started feeling better. Postpartum depression may have hit me like a freight train, but it wasn’t a runaway train. 

Set realistic expectations for yourself and talk to your loved ones about how you’re feeling. Most importantly, don’t waste any time calling your OB if you think you may have postpartum depression. It gets better, I promise!

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