Our oldest is 11 and has been recently asking to stay home from certain activities he does not necessarily love doing (think shopping with his little sister and I). We had a number of debates about when would be an appropriate time for him to begin staying home alone and came to the conclusion it was time we extended the freedom a bit. Since we do not have a landline and we are not comfortable with getting our 11 year old a cell phone, we found a happy medium in a watch device that allows us to monitor him and also call 10 pre-programmed numbers through our phone carrier.
My type “A” personality does not simply allow me to call this good enough. Of course, I did a thorough search of the literature regarding this matter which I will share with you today.
American Academy of Pediatrics
If you have been following along, you have probably started to notice that I fact-check almost everything with some type of medical entity—I am a nurse after all. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) states that children are often not mature enough to be unsupervised until 11 or 12. Obviously, every child matures differently and should be assessed independently. The AAP poses some factors to consider such as:
- Does your child generally make good choices?
- Does she or he know what to do/who to call in case of emergencies? Is there a phone in the home?
- Will she or he be left alone during mealtime? Do they know how to fix themselves food?
- Will they be able to have friends over? What happens if someone rings the doorbell?
Additionally, the AAP urges parents to do small trial run and work out the kinks.
Kansas Legislature
I struggled with finding a clear answer on this. I asked an attorney friend for help and she “came in clutch”, as the kids are saying these days. Turns out Kansas, like many states, does not have a set law regarding leaving kids at home alone.
An article in the Wichita Eagle reports that “child abuse statutes outlaw neglect that puts a child in danger — including, potentially, leaving a young child unsupervised — but there is no legal definition of an unsupervised child”.
Department for Children & Families
The Department for Children & Families (DCF) has weighed in on this issue. Their recommendation is that children over the age of 10, depending on maturity level, can stay home alone. They explicitly state that children under the age of 6 should NEVER be left alone and children 6-9 years old can be left alone for a short period of time, though they do not specify exactly how long a “short period” is.
Similar to the AAP, DCF thinks each child should be individually assessed, a careful “what if” plan should be concocted, and easy access to a phone should an emergency occur should all be part of the decision.
Leaving your child at home alone can feel like a big step. I think I was more anxious about it than he was at first! We have yet to leave him alone at night, for longer than 4 hours, or watching his little sister. We always check in with him to make sure he knows we are available if we are gone and we always remind him of the rules we have established at home to keep him safe. He enjoys the small freedoms we have given him and is very happy to stay home instead of browse through a store with me.
