Never do I feel more conspicuous as a twin mom than when I’m in a parking lot trying to corral my brood of three littles (a 3-year-old girl and my toddler twin boys). When I’m out in public alone with my children people stare, sometimes offering kind words or a helping hand.
I am always grateful for the encouragement and help, but sometimes I wish I could share that my life and children aren’t always this crazy. I want to tell them that having twins can be pretty awesome.
While it’s true having multiples is hard, there are definite upsides to having twinners. I’d love to offer you a peek inside the extraordinary part of having multiples. The part that makes the sometimes endless days, nights, and sheer exhaustion take less of a toll.
THE TWIN BOND
The aspect that touches me most as a twin mom is the innate bond my boys share. Since coming out of the womb, especially when newborns, they were more content together than apart. Often linking arms the first six months of their lives.
Now that they are older, our boys still share a bond; but they show it differently. For example, our oldest twin William is visibly protective of and loyal to his younger (by 23 minutes) brother Benjamin. If he sees Benji’s sippy cup discarded on the floor, he will pick it up and start yelling, “Bean, Bean!” He has to make sure his brother gets his drink. He will do the same with other items like toys, snacks, or blankies.
Alternately Benjamin is an audacious fun-loving fellow, but his sensitive side shines when William is upset. Benji will toddle over to his brother, lean down, and say “hug.” With no exchange of words, William smiles as Benji offers a snuggle.
Whatever ill was plaguing William disappears once his brother is there. They will then fall into a hugging pile of giggles turned friendly wrestling session. My twin mama heart melts every time this happens, which is daily. They have a language all their own and, at times, seem to live in their own little twin world. It’s incredible to witness firsthand.
The other bonus is that on those days I’m in tears due to feeling either emotionally or physically exhausted, I take heart knowing my boys can (mostly) happily play with each other. Most days, I’m relatively sure they need each other more than they need me! And I’m okay with that.
The caveat is that I see the relationship between my twin boys and feel a little sad for my singleton. Despite being two years older than her brothers, my daughter will often mention how hard it is to be a big sister to twin brothers. I think in her 3.5-year-old way, she is sharing how she feels left out.
There is nothing better than coordinating or matching twin Halloween costumes. It’s a thing, just google twin Halloween costumes. Your reward will be an overload of cuteness. Examples courtesy my twins, and you’re welcome.
Another obvious bonus to being a twin parent is being able to take the cute factor up one thousand notches through matching clothes. I mean, who doesn’t love to see two delectable infants dressed alike. Or toddlers for that matter. I will dress my twins alike for as long as they allow it. Again, some examples.
SEEING THEIR PERSONALITIES EMERGE TOGETHER
Seeing their personalities emerge is one of the coolest aspects of being a twin mom. It’s so amazing to see two human beings who are physically developing together act so differently. It’s a daily insight into the core of human beings. We are all so inherently different and individual!
My husband and I embrace and encourage the boys’ identities. William is obsessed with cars and throwing balls; Benjamin can’t get enough of reading books and dancing. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. It’s fascinating to see how twins are so different yet can be so connected.
THE COMMUNITY OF MOMS
As a mom to multiples (MoM), I also share a special connection. Instead of sharing it with a twin, I share it with other twin moms. I have a group of twin moms I rely on to help me get through the particularly bad days. And for that, I couldn’t be more grateful or feel more special to be a part of such an incredible community of fellow mamas.
If you’re a mom to multiples in the Wichita area, consider joining the Wichita Mom MoMS Facebook Community!