To my dear sweet baby, born in a global pandemic,
Back when we found out you were joining us in our otherwise panicked world, we walked an unexpected line, trying to find the right way to share our announcement during a global pandemic. Families like ours chose to strike a balance in injecting wonderful personal news into worldwide news feed inundated with negativity and sadness. Lots of lighthearted jokes were made about moms and dads not social distancing, or too much time at home meant we were in for a baby boom in the near future. We light-heartedly linked pandemic protocols to procreation. But as I lay here and feel your little kicks, I can’t help but think about how misleading those jokes were. You, my child, are because we prayed for you. You are not a result of anything except love. We wanted you.
What I didn’t expect though, was how much I needed you to get me through this hard time. I may be carrying you in my womb, but you’re carrying me through these hardest of days. During the times I feel like giving up the most, I remember how you’re counting on me to push on. I wear my mask all day while in the midst of others and my hands are raw from washing because I want to keep you healthy. The mental fatigue is often only rejuvenated when I think of the day I get to meet you face-to-face, and I inspire so much to be better and help make the world better so you never experience the heartbreak we have seen over the last year. I’ve reflected and learned a lot over the last year about what truly matters in my life, and I know nothing is more important than you, your brother and sister, and your dad.
Despite your tiny size, you’ve brought big joy to our family. We have loved celebrating your growth milestones each week, with your big sister being the most excited to learn how much you’ve grown. There have been days that the world seems like such a sad and dark place, but then we feel your little kicks and see my belly getting bigger and we are reminded that there is still good.
I can’t wait for you to join us in just a few short weeks and I promise we will continue to celebrate the wonder that is you, no matter what is going on around us. You’ll likely never remember anything other than stories about what it was like to wear masks and stay home instead of seeing friends and family, but I’ll always hold a special spot in my heart for my pandemic baby who reminded our family that love is truly all we need.