I’m not sure there’s anything worse than the trapped feeling you have when nursing your newborn while your toddler destroys your house. (Obviously, there are worse feelings. I know that, but since I’m in the thick of toddlerhood and baby life, I can’t think of anything else. You’ll forgive me.)
While I was at home on my 10 weeks of maternity leave, I scoured the internet for ideas on how to both nurse a baby and entertain an almost three-year-old at the same time. I found some great ideas, and some not so great, and some really dumb ones. But, I had some time to try some of those ideas out and create my own that worked for my family. Here are a few that worked for us, and hopefully they’ll work for you!
All of the snacks.
I, like most parents, am not above bribery. I mean, if someone were to hand me a piece of chocolate in exchange for climbing into my seat in the car and putting my seatbelt on, I would gladly take it and do it without throwing a tantrum. But, maybe that’s just me. In any case, what helped when I was stuck on the couch nursing, was having a stash of special treats for my toddler that he could enjoy during the time I was feeding his sister. He knew that anytime I was nursing the baby, he could go and grab a piece of candy and enjoy it while sitting next to us. I would have special kinds of candy that he doesn’t get on an everyday basis, and even though a lot of my attention was focused on making sure his sister was latching and getting enough to eat, he would still feel like he was having a special time with me.
Couch activities.
Most of the time with a toddler running around, it was easier and safer to set up camp on the couch with the cluster feeding newborn. From the couch, I could watch TV, keep an eye on my 2-year-old, and also make sure the weenie dog wasn’t also doing anything weird (because, they do). So, we spent a lot of time in the living room. We would make popcorn and watch movies, we would read books, we would fall asleep sitting up (oh, wait, that was just me). Whenever it was time for a nursing session, I would sit down on the couch and ask my son if he wanted to watch a show, read a book, or even just sit next to me and his sister and snuggle. I wanted to make sure he still felt like I was paying attention to him even though I was also kind of “stuck.”
Let it go.
It’s OK that the living room looks like the toy aisle at Target blew up in it, you can clean it later. It’s OK that your toddler has had an entire bag of gummy worms because your one-month-old is in the middle of a growth spurt and you haven’t left the couch all day. He’ll eat some vegetables later. At the end of my maternity leave, I didn’t worry about all the times the house was a disaster, I worried about whether or not I spent enough time with both of my babies.
Ask for help.
A couple weeks into my maternity leave, my son went back to his babysitter for a couple of days a week. I loved that I still had a couple of days that I could spend with him at home, but knew it was important for him to get some time away from me and his new sister. He got to hang out with his friends and take trips to the zoo and splash pad while I was at home caring for his baby sister. It made the days that he was home with us even more special. And, now that I’m back at work, I’m so glad that I got to spend almost the entire summer with him.
So, keep going, mama. You’re doing a great job. You might be in the thick of it now, but it’s gotta get easier, right? At least, eventually, the babies will go longer between feeds and start eating real food so you can get a shower in…or eat at the table.
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