It’s hard to believe that in a few weeks school will be upon us all. Just typing that is making my brain and wallet hurt. However, knowing that I have an incoming 7th grader is even crazier. How did that even happen? I remember when he was born and then a toddler and then poof! He’s almost a teenager. This summer has been a whirlwind of changes for him and I have noticed that he is still my sweet, little boy but he’s also growing up and becoming more independent. Here are 3 tips I’ve learned this summer to help navigate a middle schooler at back-to-school time.
Let them choose independence – It’s so hard to let go but they need some independence. As the days are so hot and long let them choose to go to the basement or bedroom and veg out. They need alone time. They don’t want to spend their evening sitting on the couch with mom and dad catching up on the latest news. They want to be by themselves doing lord knows what (playing Fortnite) and chatting texting with their friends. Let them do that and when it’s time to do something as a family they will more than likely want to because you’ve let them choose how they spend their other time by themselves. For back to school this comes in to play with how they choose their classes and school supplies. While we want to make these choices for them they need to start understanding a budget and time management. This can help in all aspects.
Set ground rules – You want them to learn how to navigate their life independently but there will always be times they want to push the boundaries. This is our first summer with a kid at home by himself. While he has participated in day camps, most of the days he sleeps in and most nights he is up way too late. Our ground rule though is you need to make sure your chores get done. If you sleep until noon, hey that’s great! (I’m actually jealous!) But if you’re sleeping until noon and then you just lay around all day and don’t help out, that’s not OK. Make sure your rules are clear and you follow through with punishment because let me tell you – these almost teenagers are sneaky. Set the rules firmly and follow through! For back to school this can be with studying or setting a class schedule. While 3 gym classes may seem awesome, it’s not really advancing your education. Mom (and dad) get final say!
Choose your battles – This is the most important one I think. There are some days where I come home and the number of half-empty drinks all over the house is in the double digits. One of our hard and fast rules is no drinks out of the kitchen/dining area. We have a house with new carpet and we want to keep it nice longer than, oh I don’t know, a few weeks?! The kids know this and of course the main rule breaker is my middle schooler because “it’s not a big deal”. We continue to go back and forth but this is one rule that I will hold fast to. Other things aren’t as important because the outcome may not matter all that much. For back to school this could come down to many things. You know your kid and what is important to them and you.
The one thing that brings all these together is communication. Make sure your lines of communication is open both ways. You want your middle schoolers to be able to talk to you about anything and everything. This is a very important time in their life and middle school may be pretty daunting for them. They’ll be making new friends, trying to keep old ones and learn to navigate lots of new things in new schools. There will be a lot of push-back from them but make sure they know you are always available to sit down and talk (and mainly listen).
Make sure you never miss out: subscribe to our weekly Wichita Moms Blog newsletter! Be the first to know about our exclusive events, special offers and discounts, neighborhood group activities and, of course, local resources
and parenting voices powered by local Wichita moms!
