We all remember being a teenager and getting behind the wheel of a car for the very first time. We were excited. We were ready to gain some independence. We were scared! However, as a parent of a teen driver, scared is just the beginning of what we feel. “What if my child forgets which peddle is the gas and which one is the break?” “What if they don’t look before they enter traffic?” “What if they text and drive?” There are thousands of questions and feelings you will have when your child gets behind the wheel the first time. You will literally have NO CONTROL over what they do.
As a mom of three teenagers who are currently driving (and one more only a few years off), I’ve been through this nerve-wracking phase few times. I am in NO WAY an expert, but I thought I’d share a few things I learned:
1. When your teen gets close to driving age, check your State rules because they are always changing! One great resource for this is Keys 2 Drive. You can easily see what the rules for a 14 year old versus when they turn 15 and 16.
2. Have your child read through the Kansas Driving Handbook. Even if they just read through it one time, they should do this before they even THINK about getting in the drivers seat (even if they don’t have keys in their hand). They will also need this handbook for their Drivers Ed Class. And that leads me to my biggest tip…
3. Have them take a Drivers Education Class. Public Schools have them during the summer months and there are several Private Driving Schools that offer classes throughout the year. In this Drivers Ed Class, the teens learn not just how to drive a car safely and the “rules of the road”, but in my option they are taught something that is priceless… Defensive Driving. As parents, teens are already “defensive” against us. They think they we are stupid and that they know everything. Teens don’t like to listen to their parents because we are “lame” or “old.” Being taught Defensive Driving from a professional driver (instead of a lame, stupid, old parent) ensures that they will actually listen. Plus… those Drivers Ed Cars have a break peddle for the instructor to use if needed!! I can’t tell you how many times I wish I had one in my car when my teen was driving!
4. Your Teen will get in a wreck. I hate to even type this, but it’s true. I’m not going to give you statistics on teens and wrecks because they just make my heart hurt, but I will be honest and say that all 3 of my teens have been in some type of “wreck.” My oldest son was hit by a car who ran a red light. He was spun 180 degrees and the wreck ended up totaling his Jeep. My second son backed out of his garage stall and pulled off his front bumper. Same kid backed into a landscaping boulder and dented his back bumper. My daughter was also hit by someone who pulled in front of her and ended up totaling her Jeep. Getting a phone call from your child telling you they were just in a car accident, is a phone call no parent wants to get. In our cases, they were the ones making the phone call, so I knew they were fine. I know that is not always the case. Why am I telling you this? To prepare you. To inform you. And to let you know that when this happens, you are not alone. Teens getting in accidents doesn’t make them a bad driver. It doesn’t mean you are a bad parent. It just means that accidents happen. Driving is a skill that takes practice, time and patience. As parents, we have to be patient and supportive while they learn this new skill. Remember, they didn’t go from crawling to running. They had to learn to walk first.
5. And lastly, when they get their learners permit (age 14), let them drive as much as possible that entire year until they turn 15. Let them drive you on your errands, or to church, or to a restaurant, or to get gas…just let them drive.
My absolute favorite thing about teen driving, is the memories you make with them while they are learning. Every time they drive with you, you will be teaching them things. They will be teaching you things. You will laugh together. Listen to music together. Tell stories together and grow closer to each other.
And in the end, you will see their confidence grow…and your confidence in them will grow too!
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