Puberty can be a confusing and awkward time – for kids and parents alike. But talking about it doesn’t have to be. With the right approach, you can help your child feel informed, confident and supported as they grow.
What is puberty, really?
Puberty is a natural part of growing up. It’s the body’s way of transitioning from childhood to adulthood, driven by hormones that trigger physical, emotional and social changes. These changes happen over several years and vary from person to person.
What to Expect: Physical changes
For Girls (Typically Ages 8-13):
- Breast development is often the first sign—starting as small, tender lumps under the areola.
- Body hair begins to grow in the underarms and pubic area.
- Body odor and acne may appear early on.
- Vaginal discharge may occur 6–12 months before the first period.
- Menstruation usually starts about 2 years after breast budding.
- Growth spurts in height and weight often follow soon after puberty begins.
Talk to your pediatrician if there’s no breast development by age 13 or no period by age 16.
For Boys (Typically Ages 9-14):
- Testes and scrotum begin to enlarge first.
- Pubic and underarm hair starts to grow.
- Body odor and acne may show up early.
- Penis growth follows, along with continued testicular development.
- Facial hair begins to appear gradually.
- Growth spurts in height and muscle mass usually occur about 2 years after puberty starts.
Consult a doctor if there’s no testicular growth by age 14.
When should you start talking about it?
There’s no “perfect” age to start the conversation. Instead, look for teachable moments —questions your child asks, things they notice or changes they experience. These moments can open the door to honest, age-appropriate discussions.
Tips for talking about puberty:
- Start early and build over time. A 3-year-old asking why mommy’s chest looks different can be a chance to explain that bodies change as we grow.
- Keep it simple and honest. A 6-year-old wondering about body differences can be reassured that their body will grow and change too.
- Create a safe space. Let your child know they can ask anything—no topic is off-limits or embarrassing.
Puberty is a journey, not a one-time event. By having open, ongoing conversations, you’re helping your child feel empowered and prepared for the changes ahead.
Sponsored by Children’s Mercy Wichita.
Children’s Mercy Wichita offers a child-friendly environment to provide families access to pediatric specialty care that otherwise might not be available without traveling out of the community including Cardiology, Endocrinology, Nephrology, Hepatology, Neurosurgery, Plastic Surgery and more.
Stephani Stancil, PhD, APRN is a clinician scientist in the Divisions of Adolescent Medicine and Clinical Pharmacology at Children’s Mercy and an assistant professor of pediatrics at the Schools of Medicine for the University of Kansas and University of Missouri-Kansas City. She is a practicing clinician in Adolescent Medicine and the GOLDILOKS Precision Therapeutics consult service at Children’s Mercy. Her interdisciplinary, translational research focuses on developing precision therapeutics for adolescent mental health conditions. Her other research interests include improving reproductive health care in teens and reducing risks of vulnerable youth.
