Marriage is hard.
Divorce is hard.
Dating after divorce and trusting yourself to love again is a never-ending, uphill battle.
As parents we strive to give our children the best, to teach them everything they need to be successful, and raise them to be kind and love others. But what we don’t realize is that our actions and example have far greater power and influence than all of the words we preach and motivational quotes in picture frames or on chalkboards scattered throughout the house say.
I’m divorced, I’m a single mom, and I am dating an incredible man.
A year ago I would have struggled typing that out because I fear failure, and even more so I fear documenting failure and it affecting my children. I remember reading somewhere that we can practice self-care but in order for it to be effective, we must practice self-love first. Everything begins with you. Happiness and stability can be obtained without a relationship, and in my opinion a relationship should enhance everything that you have created and cultivated on your own.
Trust (noun)
-
firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.synonyms:
confidence · belief · faith · freedom from suspicion/doubt · sureness ·
Trust is a topic that we could, and should easily be able to talk about and discuss. Trust is the foundation to any relationship in a personal world, business world, in our world. And yet, it is the hardest need/desire to fulfill within ourselves or build with others. But to the person reading this, I beg you to let yourself in. Lean in and embrace the feelings, allow yourself to really FEEL them; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Do not ever apologize for feeling, but give yourself space to accept what is and let yourself grow through it.
There is nothing in this world that is worth sacrificing your self-love. After all, loving yourself is where your ability to love others including your children begins. If you are reading this and have gone through a divorce/separation please remember this:
“If you lose yourself, it’s not real.
If you abandon yourself, it’s not worth it.
Not for love.
Not for attention.
Not for company.
Not for redemption.
Not for passing time.
Not for anything.
Not for anyone. “
-Tanya Markul
I can’t tell you when you will be ready to date after a divorce, and I won’t even begin to share my timeline because it is completely irrelevant to your story and the process of trusting and loving yourself. But I will tell you the best time to love yourself, is always and the only way to start your journey is forget all of your goals except the one to heal. When you let yourself in, you let love in and it is your decision to pass that love completely by or to soak it in.
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