My toddler, Levi, has the best grandparents! He has such a special and unique relationship with each one of them, and they all spoil him so much. When he was born, all four of them were here in Wichita with us and it was such a wonderful time. Unfortunately, my parents’ time in Wichita was short as they live in Abu Dhabi, U.A.E.
Levi regularly gets to spend time with my in-laws, Nana and Papa, as they live inearby, and he loves their time together. While he does not see my parents in person as much, as they live continents away, his relationship with Teta (grandma) and Jeddo (grandpa) is equally as beautiful.
Raising Levi far from my family and culture is something I knew I would struggle with, but here are four ways that I have been able to include my parents in his life:
Schedule a regular video call for your children to engage with their grandparents
While we limit other screen time, Levi’s only way to connect with my parents is by using all the great apps on my phone that facilitate video calls.
We talk to my parents every day after daycare around 11:30am, right before his nap. The timing works great for them as they are both home together (9:30pm) and they look forward to the quality time with him. Some days he falls asleep in the car, or my parents are out, and he does not get to talk to them before nap time. On those days, the first thing he says when he wakes up is, “Deddo and Teta”. I love that he wants to have these moments with them. Our chats are usually short (Levi, 21 months, gets distracted easily!) but they usually go the same way: they sing songs, we walk around the house showing them Levi’s toys and discoveries, and they blow kisses.
The consistency of our calls is a great way to help both Levi and my parents build memories together.
Establish unique patterns and traditions between your child and their grandparents
In their calls and in person, my parents each have unique songs and activities to relate to Levi.
My dad has always, since Levi was born, sang ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ to him and this is their special song. Anytime Levi sees a sheep, or hears the song, he will always ask for my dad. It is also the first thing he asks him to do when he sees him. My dad also plays the harmonica for Levi during our video chats and during our visits. Every time Levi sees one now, he always relates it back to my dad.
My mom often speaks Arabic to Levi and when I either play an Arabic song or use some Arabic words myself, he immediately starts calling for his “Teta”. When she was in Wichita last summer she taught him a special Lebanese children song, and while Levi is not yet able to sing the words, every time he sees her in our calls or in person, he will start the gestures that accompany the song to ask her to sing it to him.
Although small, these traditions that are being created between them help solidify their bond.
Use Family Pictures to share stories about those who live far away
Building on the daily video calls, we also have lots of pictures at home (and on our phones) that we talk about daily. We talk about the people in the pictures and the adventures that we have already shared together (and that we will all have together again soon!).
While I am not sure he necessarily understands that he was indeed with them in the pictures, he easily identifies everyone in the pictures and loves to take the time to look at them each day.
Older children might be able to relate better to the events and experiences in the pictures, but there is still great value in focusing on the people.
Plan at least one trip a year, if possible, to create memories together
Since Levi was born, we have been able to spend quality in-person time with my parents (and siblings) as they try to come visit us here once a year and we try to either go back to the Middle East or meet somewhere together for family bonding. So far, Levi has been to Lebanon twice, the United Kingdom, and we will be going to the United Arab Emirates in April.
Traveling with a little one is not always easy, but it is so worth it to see those relationships blossom. (Here are some travel tips for anyone planning a vacation with a toddler.) Whether the long-distance grandparents are on the other side of the world, or just a couple of hours away, you might need to get creative to ensure that they are involved in the life of your child(ren). Trust me, it is all so worth it!
