If you meet him, he will be thoughtful and kind and his shoelaces will probably be untied. Maybe you will wonder if he knows how to tie them. Haven’t his parents taught him how to tie his shoes? He is in mid-elementary school, after all. If you see him at the park, he will be polite to your son or daughter as he rides his bicycle with training wheels. Maybe you will wonder why he is still riding with training wheels when many of his classmates left those behind several years ago. If you watch him on the basketball court, he will help a teammate who falls down but he is afraid to take the ball to the basket. Maybe you will wonder if his parents shoot baskets with him at home.
I am the mom of that kind, thoughtful little boy. I am the mom of a late bloomer.
What does it mean when your child is a late bloomer?
As a baby, my son was never what you would consider “behind” on developmental milestones, but he would take just long enough that I would start to worry. Then every time I felt concerned about his progress in some area, he surprised me and would take off. When he wasn’t talking much by 18 months, I wondered what was wrong.
Was it possible he had a speech delay or even autism? We worked with a speech therapist from Rainbows United and he quickly caught up to his peers, much to my relief. As he reached preschool, I wondered about his motor skills. He struggled with fine motor and handwriting, but also had glasses for a mild eye turn and seemed to be a lefty.
Did I have reason for concern or was this normal development? It was hard to tell. His sweet preschool teacher assured me that if he was still struggling in kindergarten, we could pursue OT (occupational therapy) where he received extra help with motor skills. But when he reached kindergarten, his handwriting and motor skills were on track; no real reason for concern.
Waiting it Out
I began to see I was torturing myself by giving my son unrealistic deadlines that were all in my mind. My son was not defined by the milestones he reached. So what if my son didn’t walk at 9 months and didn’t learn to read in preschool. The 3-Day Potty Training Method did not work for us. He would develop in his own time when he was good and ready, not when I or anyone else thought he should be ready.
No amount of pushing on my part will make him want to learn to tie his shoelaces sooner or ride his bike without training wheels. That doesn’t mean we don’t work on those skills, but if frustration takes over for either of us, we stop. We can always try again tomorrow or next week. I am proud of him for being kind, inclusive and conscientious despite his lack of concern for floppy, untied shoes. I love his lego-building skills, obsession with Magic Treehouse books and fascination with Kansas City Chiefs stats.
Most importantly, I want to give him the opportunity to grow at his own pace, the chance to explore hobbies that he is passionate about and a heart that cares about other people.
So next time you see a sweet boy with untied shoelaces, instead of comparing, just smile at him and remember that all children bloom in their own time.
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