Our Rules for Teen Dating

After overhearing a conversation our teen son was having that consisted of asking a girl out, my husband and I realized his adolescent years were waning to young adult years. Companionship has always been very important in our family and having hosted multiple exchange students over the years, we should have been professionals when it came to parenting dating teens. Dylan, however, needed the “rules of dating” spelled out.

WARNING: What you are about to read is a memo and works for our family. Being called “strict” is a compliment to my husband and me. We have been called many things, but never uncaring, unloving, or unconcerned.

DATING RULES

1. No sex. No drugs. No alcohol. No hitchhiking. No exceptions.

2. All individuals will be respected, at all times.

3. Academics, family obligations, and domestic chores are to be completed satisfactorily prior to unsupervised occasions with other young adults.

4. You are a teen, your brain is still developing, sleep is essential. Curfew will be strictly enforced: Sunday-Thursday 8:30 p.m. Friday-Saturday 10 p.m. *Terms can be negotiable on a case by case scenario, however, evidence may be necessary to support your request (i.e. permission slips, academic and domestic responsibilities displayed, etc.) and morning regime start time will NOT fluctuate.

5. Courteous guests are always welcome in our home (with the exception of #8) when your parents are home. Guests may be entertained in common areas only. The same applies to you as you are invited to a friend’s house—WHEN PARENTS ARE HOME AND IN COMMON AREAS ONLY! Lighting and blankets will be monitored.

6. Cell phone, tablets, and laptops with passwords are to be on designated charging station at 9 p.m. (Friday and Saturday 10 p.m.) and remain there until the following morning’s regime is completed satisfactorily. Any inappropriate content or indication the location tracking mechanism has been disabled will result in immediate revocation of unsupervised occasions and electronic and/or WiFi privileges.

7. Friends who are driving will be shown respect and support, and are only allowed to provide transportation for you after having visited with your parents; further, adequate communication with the driver’s guardian(s) will be necessary prior to designated outings. DO NOT EVER TEXT AND DRIVE! {Disclosure: Minimum driving age in our house is 18.}

8. Family functions and holidays are reserved exclusively for family and designated guests with a proper title (grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, honorary aunts/uncles, fiancé) unless invited by parents.

Relationships are about building one another up, if at any point of a relationship you are uncomfortable or fear you have made someone uncomfortable, talk to a trusted adult immediately. Sex is the most intimate and precious experience you will have in a relationship and should be reserved for your life partner at the appropriate time (job secured, debt free, adequate housing and health insurance). If a relationship gets to this level, visit with us, [therapist], or Dr. xxx, on how to be safe and responsible. Open communication is critical to fostering healthy honest relationships. These rules are intended to keep you safe and supported while you live in this house as we guide you to adulthood. Failure to adhere to these rules diminishes trust and makes it difficult for us to treat you as a young adult. As always, we will love and encourage each other to share any concerns, challenges, questions, and successes.

Understood,

Dylan, Mom and Dad

 


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Rachel Banning
Originally from the Wichita area, Rachel’s greatest adventure began 20 years ago when she married her husband. Together, they have one living child with Asperger’s (Dylan, ‘03) and one heavenly daughter with cerebral palsy (Mia, 2000-2013). She is a homeschool mom and business owner. Rachel is an unapologetic advocate for children of all abilities, a bookworm, and she will find any excuse to use her Kitchen Aid and wear Junior League red.