5 Tips for Giving Yourself Grace When You Feel Like Giving Up


In a year when we’ve all struggled to find balance in our families, work and expectations of ourselves, it’s important that we, as moms and healthy human beings, stop and give ourselves some grace. We are all doing the absolute best we can given our circumstances. And we can all agree that some days are much easier than others.

I recently had a conversation with Wichita Mom Erin Bartel. I said to her that sometimes I need to give myself grace and realize I can’t do it all. She replied that her mantra is, “Grace is not failure. Grace is self-care. Grace is drawing boundaries to protect my mental and physical health.”

That got me thinking that we could all use some reminders on giving ourselves grace.

  1. Show compassion toward yourself. As moms, we are doing our best to make sure a situation is perfect for our children and prove to ourselves we have control. Since March 2020, we’ve learned that most of the time control can be far out of our reach. The point is that we are all doing our best. Sometimes we fall short and that’s ok.
  2. Reassess your immediate priorities. Am I putting unnecessary pressure on myself? Am I creating my own unrealistic expectations? Is letting this slide going to cause physical or emotional harm to me or another person? You might even consider making a list of your goals and sharing them with your family so they can pitch in.
  3. In the words of Elsa, “Let it go.” Dance, scream into a pillow, take a shower, workout or vent to your best friend. Allow yourself to let go of your frustrations. Tomorrow is a new day. It’s the opportunity to try again.
  4. Start your day with five minutes of gratitude. Whether you pray, meditate, journal or just listen to your favorite play list, take five minutes to be thankful for what is positive in your life and set the tone for the day.
  5. Determine the non-negotiables. We all know that we have certain tasks that will throw our day off if it isn’t done. I like to make the bed and it irritates me to come home and see it not made. Does the kitchen need to be spotless, but it’s OK if the toys are still out? Do you need your morning workout, but that extra load of laundry can wait for tomorrow? The “to-do list” is never ending, so decide what is a must for your day to run smoothly.

What are your tips on giving yourself grace?