I’m a list maker by nature.
I run a salon, a family, and a home. If I don’t write it down I’ll forget it’s as simple as that and if we are being completely honest half the time I lose the majority of the checklists that I make before I even have a chance to cross each item off. And I am terminally exhausted feeling like a hamster stuck in a wheel. You see we are surrounded by a society that values “busy” above all. A society that is constantly pushing us higher, farther, faster and then some. A society that embeds the idea that “practice makes perfect” and that perfection is actually attainable into our minds. But this year, I’m done.
This year, I’m embracing my feelings honestly. When someone asks me if I am okay, I will resist putting on a mask and pretending to be “fine” instead I will lean in and tell them how I’m truly feeling, and in return ask the same of them. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.
This year, I’m going to let myself grow. I will let down my guard and let my soul fly. I will push myself to limits I’ve been scared to even look in the eye, and this year I will face them head on. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
This year, I will forgive. I will forgive others, but more importantly I will forgive myself. I will forgive myself for thinking that I wasn’t enough. I will forgive myself for letting my guard down and getting hurt because I have found so much beauty in the breaking. I will forgive myself for the people and relationships I have let slip through my fingers and I will forgive myself for the person I used to be. I will forgive myself for the parts of me that I have tried to bury because they were so ugly and horrible. I will own every tear that I have cried and every tear that I have caused, and I will forgive myself for it all.
This year, I will celebrate. I will choose joy and celebrate the person that I am, and the beauty that is within me. I will celebrate my wins and I will shed light on them because credit should be given where it is due. I will celebrate my struggles, and the storms that knock me to my knees and remind me that there are always different vantage points to consider.
This year, I will love. I will love without expectation, I will allow myself time and space in order to love and BE loved in the way in which I deserve. I will love myself, I will love others, but most importantly this year, I will chuck my checklists and I will love my life.
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