Don’t Call Her A Princess, Call Her Brave

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From the moment I found out I was expecting a daughter I dreaded the word princess.
 
You see, as a woman/sister/daughter/mother I am used to being labeled and generalized as “just a girl”, timid, or helpless. You  know, the damsel in distress. We are conditioned to need a hero, rather than taught to become a heroine.
  
I am not against fear, it is an absolutely necessary emotion. Fear keeps us safe. The issue I have with fear is that we are conditioning our daughters to have fear as a primary reaction when they experience something that is outside of their comfort zone. We say “boys will be boys” and we encourage our sons to play in the dirt, to climb a tree and then to jump from the tree, but we tell our daughters to be careful, to wash their hands and pour the tea. We set limits for them before they even try to break barriers because we believe that we are protecting them if we stop them.
 
But we aren’t protecting them. We are preventing growth and the ability to cope with hard situations. We are teaching them to step away from a high pressure situation instead of stepping up to the plate. 
 
Studies tell us that only 3% of brain activity is conscious,  and the remaining 97% of your brain is functioning at a subconscious level. That mere three percent is the doing portion of our life while the ninety-seven percent is the being. The majority of who we are is shaped by the very messages we are told as children, who we become as adults is dictated by the way we handle our circumstances and situations. As parents we have to open our children up, and push them out of their comfort zones. Let them make mistakes, and let them fall. The things our children learn when they skin their knee, have the ability to keep them from getting hurt in bigger ways later in life.
 
What we should be teaching our daughters, or just our children in general, is to push outside their comfort zone. To think outside the box, and be brave. Bravery is learned, and because it is a learned skill it must be practiced. We as parents have to step back, take a breath, and encourage our daughters to climb that tree and then jump. We need to motivate them to ride a skateboard, nail a flip-kick or ollie, and to race against the boys not just cheer them on. 
 
When we teach our children to operate in a bravery mindset instead of a fear mindset, they learn hazard/risk assessment, delayed gratification, confidence, and resilience, but most importantly they learn that they are able. 

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After moving to Kansas from Wyoming shortly before Kindergarten, Hali was raised a "country girl" in a small town south of Wichita. She graduated high school and attended the University of Kansas before deciding that cosmetology and the beauty industry was her passion. A licensed hairstylist for ten years and salon owner for six she loves creative freedom and the ability to form her work schedule around the needs of her children. Hali now calls El Dorado home and resides there happily with her son Riley (b.2009), her daughter Heidi (b. 2015). When her schedule isn't packed with youth sports, or working behind the chair in her salon, she enjoys time with friends at any patio restaurant or a good girls day out exploring new local shops.