I love my life and the people in it, but when my head finally hits the pillow at night I’m wiped out.
I’m tired.
Tired as a mother.
One night recently, as I was rocking my son to sleep and fighting nodding off myself, I started reflecting on how blessed my life is. I’m exhausted, but in the midst of it all I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I could either dwell on how drained I feel, or I could find the joy in the chaos. I realized that in this season of life I’ve learned a lot about myself and many valuable lessons that I never would have had without being as tired as a mother.
1. I’m stronger than I think.
You can ask any of my college roommates- I’ve always been someone who needs eight hours of sleep to function at my best…or so I thought. Motherhood has taught me that even when I was up rocking a teething baby or assuring my toddler the dark isn’t scary in the middle of the night, I can still pull myself together and work hard the next day. I can find an inner strength I never thought I had and push through to do great things. I know one day my little people won’t be so little anymore and won’t need me at all hours of the day and night, but for now they do and I’m not going to let that break me.
2. Saying NO is tough but necessary.
Look, FOMO is real for sure. I love to explore our city for new adventures with my family, have girls’ nights out, date my husband, and a million other fun things. But sometimes I just have to say NO, mainly to myself. I’m a planner by nature and I’ve realized that even though I pencil in fun things to do, so often my weekends and free time are filled with glorified to-do lists. Yes, I’m sure my kids would love to go to that museum and this birthday party and explore a new playground I saw a friend post about, but we also need down time to rest or even be spontaneous. And I’ve found that during that unscheduled time we still have lots of fun as a family!
3. I need to make my health a priority.
I knew I was dragging more than usual, but I blamed it on the fact I have an infant and a toddler who don’t love to sleep, I work full time, and life overall. When I finally talked to my doctor about it, I found out that my thyroid was struggling. I’m still working to get this regulated with medication but I wish I had looked into this much sooner as I think back to some particularly exhausting days. I learned the valuable lesson to not ever put off my health due to the busyness of life. Luckily my hypothyroidism can be regulated with medicine, but I never want to risk missing something more serious.
4. Some things can wait. And they will.
I always have a to-do list running through my head and I often feel like I’m failing when I’m not crossing everything off quickly. But the truth is, some things just have to wait. There are only 24 hours in a day and driving myself to exhaustion trying to get one more thing done just isn’t worth it. I now try to keep two to-do lists going: one with things that must be done or my life will be truly more difficult and those that need to be done but not immediately. By doing that I’m able to see a broader scope and give myself a break.
5. I can truly love unconditionally.
Before I became a mom, never in a million years would I have thought I could love something that exhausted me so much. Yet here I am, watching my two little ones play together as I sleepily drink my coffee and feeling like my heart is about to burst. No matter how many times they wake up at night or how many toddler tantrums I dispute, when they look up at me with their little smiles I know without a doubt I’d be this tired forever if it means I can love them.
And the truth is, I probably will always be this tired. After all, I’m a mother. But in the midst of all of this, I know that while I may be tired as a mother, above all I know I’m thankful.
Thankful as a mother.
Make sure you never miss out on things to do in Wichita: subscribe to our weekly Wichita Moms Blog newsletter! Be the first to know about our exclusive events, special offers and discounts, neighborhood group activities and, of course, local resources and parenting voices powered by local Wichita moms!
